1 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:20,238 ♪ Three old ladies locked in the lavatory ♪ 2 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:50,114 Four matching pairs. 3 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:52,760 Blue and green washbasins for Carter's, Aberdeen. 4 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:53,840 Check. 5 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:55,962 Two princess suites complete with stainless 6 00:01:55,963 --> 00:01:57,760 steel fittings for Gerling's, London. 7 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,275 - Check. - Six white, top-flushing urinals. 8 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:02,079 Stand-up ones? 9 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:03,719 Is there any other sort? 10 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:07,077 I only asked. Funny things happen these days. 11 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,419 Six white top-flushing urinals, 12 00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:12,189 regular design. For the YWCA, Wigan. 13 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:14,237 One matching pair... 14 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:18,360 The YWCA? Hey, you're right. Funny things do happen these days. 15 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:31,799 Well, Miss Withering, how does it feel? Comfortable? 16 00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:33,837 Yes, I think so, Mr Boggs. 17 00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:36,992 Good, good. Comfort before beauty. That's what I always say. 18 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:38,594 It's a bit big in the bowl, I think. 19 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,844 It is only two centimetres more than our last 20 00:02:40,845 --> 00:02:43,197 model, and I'm sure we shan't fall out over that. 21 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,033 It's falling in I'm worried about. 22 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,756 No, no. I like your overall design, Mr Coote. 23 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:51,116 Oh, thank you, sir. 24 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:53,351 May I get off now, please? 25 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:56,717 Of course, Miss Withering. Thank you. You've been most patient. 26 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:59,679 Yes. Like Job on a monument. And what a monument. Ha-ha. 27 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:02,912 We must make sure the catch is strong enough to support the seat. 28 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:06,118 - Do you mind if I try it, WC? - No, go ahead. Yes, do. 29 00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:21,758 Yes. I don't think I could stand it for more than half an hour. 30 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:24,275 It was hardly designed for a reading room. 31 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:28,870 Look. Look at this. Very slender, this pedestal, isn't it? 32 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:30,474 It's streamlined. 33 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:32,870 What for? Wind resistance? Ha-ha. 34 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,971 In any case, the thickness has nothing 35 00:03:34,972 --> 00:03:37,239 whatsoever to do with the tensile strength. 36 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:39,039 I hope you're right, Mr Coote. 37 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:41,117 I have had bitter experience of what 38 00:03:41,118 --> 00:03:43,114 happens when one of these collapses. 39 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,510 Or rather my poor dear wife had. Rest her soul. 40 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:50,629 I can assure you, sir, an elephant could safely use that toilet. 41 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:53,599 Not without a much bigger bowl. 42 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:56,149 We can't afford to take any chances, Mr Coote. 43 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:58,880 No. Dependability before beauty, I always say. 44 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:02,192 Miss Withering, if you wouldn't mind. Just one more time. 45 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:06,274 This time, my dear, come down on it like a ton of bricks. Boom. 46 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:08,549 So far, so good. 47 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:10,757 Now, if you'd just bump up and down a bit. 48 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:13,150 Excellent. Excellent. 49 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:14,594 Bump. Bump. 50 00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:17,752 Things that go... in the night. Ha-ha-ha. 51 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,679 One matching pair of what? 52 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,717 - Beauts. - One matching pair of... 53 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:29,039 - Hello, Myrt, love. - Oh, hello, Vic. 54 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:30,839 How about it this afternoon, then? 55 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:32,639 Not standing up. 56 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:35,758 No, sitting down. I've got these grandstand tickets. 57 00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:38,719 The kick-off's at three o'clock. It should be a special match. 58 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:42,680 Three o'clock. Ooh, how can we? We'll be working till five thirty. 59 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,622 I wouldn't bet on that, if I were you. And 60 00:04:44,623 --> 00:04:46,310 I'll take you out for a bit of supper. 61 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,198 Ooh. 62 00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:50,317 Hello, Myrtle. Got a cup of tea for me? 63 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,631 Sorry, Bernie. No more floor service. 64 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:54,996 What do you mean no more floor service? 65 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:57,072 New rule. Drinks only to be served in 66 00:04:57,073 --> 00:04:58,960 the canteen during official breaks. 67 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:02,511 Well, that's what I call taking a diabolical liberty. 68 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:04,831 And that's something you know all about. 69 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:07,071 - Ha-ha. - Do you mind? Do you mind? 70 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:09,675 Don't you worry. I won't let them get away with this. 71 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,639 That's all right, Vic. I didn't really want a cup anyway. 72 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:15,235 Whether you want one or not is beside the point. 73 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:18,279 This constitutes an infringement of the workers' rights. 74 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,387 Oh. Old tinder bottom's off again. 75 00:05:20,388 --> 00:05:22,593 Another blooming strike, I suppose. 76 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:24,990 Oh, no. What's it for? 77 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:28,198 You know our Vic. He never has known what it's for. 78 00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:29,953 - Ooh. - Ha-ha-ha. 79 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:38,277 Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Mr Boggs. 80 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:40,200 That's quite all right, Miss Plummer. 81 00:05:40,201 --> 00:05:41,797 I should have sounded my hooter. 82 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,759 There he is. Old silver spoon. At it again. 83 00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:47,878 Oh, give over, Vic. He can't help being the boss's son. 84 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:50,839 Privileged class, sitting on his... That's what he is. 85 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:54,311 Privileged class? Do you know what the girls call him? Pencil doings. 86 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:56,119 That's how privileged he is. 87 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:02,755 Morning, all. 88 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:04,797 Morning, Mr Boggs. 89 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:11,071 I'd er... I'd like to see you for a few moments, please, Mr Lewis. 90 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:14,198 All right. Make it quick, Spanner. I'm already late for a meeting. 91 00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:16,295 It has come to my notice that a new rule has 92 00:06:16,296 --> 00:06:18,354 been introduced without consultation with me, 93 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:20,787 as a shop steward, to the effect that tea may 94 00:06:20,788 --> 00:06:22,878 no longer be served outside the canteen. 95 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:23,960 Right. I made it. 96 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:27,112 Oh. Well, then. As the union's appointed representative, 97 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:29,192 I wish to lodge the strongest protest. 98 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:31,317 It is an infringement of workers' rights. 99 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:34,359 - Oh, come off it, Spanner. - I can show you right here. 100 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,397 - What's that? - The NUCIE rule book. 101 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,949 Oh, I see. They're making rules about that now. 102 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,602 N-U-C-I-E. NUCIE, Mr Lewis. The Nation 103 00:06:44,603 --> 00:06:46,917 Union of Chinaware Industrial Employees. 104 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,835 Oh, I beg your pardon. You know what 105 00:06:48,836 --> 00:06:50,471 you can do with their rule book. 106 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:51,630 What's that? 107 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,439 Let me give you a clue. 108 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:56,475 These pages are just about the same 109 00:06:56,476 --> 00:06:58,360 size as our toilet-paper holders. 110 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:00,159 Now do you get the idea? 111 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,840 Great, big, steaming, public-school nit. 112 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:06,230 All right, everyone. You all heard him. 113 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:08,551 Direct aggravation of a genuine grievance. 114 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:10,472 - Stop work. - Everybody out. 115 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:12,392 There you are. What did I tell you? 116 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:16,598 Meeting in the canteen in ten minutes. Tell everyone, Bernie. 117 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:19,019 Right. Meeting in the canteen... When was it? 118 00:07:19,020 --> 00:07:20,020 Ten minutes. 119 00:07:20,021 --> 00:07:22,321 Meeting in ten minutes' time... Where was it? 120 00:07:22,322 --> 00:07:23,322 In the canteen. 121 00:07:23,323 --> 00:07:25,994 - Meeting in ten minutes' time... - All right, they know. 122 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,359 Oh, excuse me. 123 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:35,874 Lewis, my boy. It's all right. 124 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,290 We're just discussing the new 125 00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:39,032 Princess Beatrice suite. Come on in. 126 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:40,156 Oh, I see. 127 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:41,240 There we are. 128 00:07:41,241 --> 00:07:42,994 Please don't get up, Miss Withering. 129 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:45,037 But I want to get up, Mr Lewis. 130 00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:49,950 What do you think of it, my boy? Rather elegant, wouldn't you say? 131 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:51,040 Yes. 132 00:07:51,041 --> 00:07:52,991 But I thought we were going to modernise our stuff, 133 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:55,879 and I thought we were going to include a bidet in our new range. 134 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,714 Oh, yes. I designed one, but Mr Boggs sat on it. 135 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:00,835 On the idea, I mean. 136 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:03,674 I do not think bidets are quite us. 137 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:06,320 But, Dad, all our competitors are making them. 138 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:08,846 I dare say, but I didn't think the high cost of 139 00:08:08,847 --> 00:08:11,191 production coupled with the limited demand... 140 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:13,392 Limited demand? But I told you about that 141 00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:15,354 enquiry from abroad for 1,000 of them. 142 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:17,945 I know, my boy, but I don't think that 143 00:08:17,946 --> 00:08:20,515 my dear grandfather would have approved 144 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:24,674 of the name Boggs being associated with such an article. 145 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,677 Oh, Mr Plummer. Can't you persuade him? 146 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:29,909 Quite frankly, I don't see the use of 'em. It's 147 00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:31,834 easy enough to wash your feet in the bath. 148 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:34,230 Bidets are not for washing your feet in. 149 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:36,551 What else? Are they for dogs to drink out of? 150 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:38,199 No. 151 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,611 Get away. Well, if it's for that, then, you can 152 00:08:42,612 --> 00:08:44,712 always stand on your head under the shower. 153 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:46,598 Lewis. Lewis, my boy. 154 00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:49,070 Can you hear anything? 155 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:50,389 No. 156 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,915 - Neither can I. - Well, that's all right, then. 157 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,515 No, it's not all right. They've stopped work. 158 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:02,558 I tell you, brothers. 159 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:04,597 It is time we made a stand. 160 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:10,032 It is time the bosses learnt that they can't mess the worker about. 161 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:12,077 - What do you say? - Down with 'em. 162 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:13,913 That's right. Down with 'em. 163 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:17,277 It is up to us to show the bloated bureaucrats 164 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,829 that they can't grind our faces in the dust. 165 00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:22,071 - What do you say? - Down with 'em. 166 00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:24,117 That's right. You see, brothers, 167 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:27,750 this issue isn't just over when or when not you can have a cuppa. 168 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:29,559 Oh. No. 169 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,597 This ruling is another blow 170 00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:34,198 aimed at the fundamental rights of the worker. 171 00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,199 Hear hear. 172 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,508 It's another little prod at the very 173 00:09:37,509 --> 00:09:39,637 vitals of your personal freedom. 174 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:42,280 I haven't noticed anyone prodding at my vitals. 175 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,039 Good for you, Chloe. 176 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:46,952 Ready for you any time, Chloe. 177 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:48,997 Yes. All right, then. 178 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:50,753 Yes. All right, then. Quiet, please. 179 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,399 Thank you, Mrs Moore. 180 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:54,915 But I seem to remember that you got very upset 181 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,258 when they banned you women from wearing 182 00:09:57,259 --> 00:09:59,233 trousers. What do you say to that? 183 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:00,874 Down with 'em. 184 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:03,156 Cheeky, Bernie. 185 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:05,357 I didn't mean down with the trousers. 186 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:10,280 Anyway, brothers, I am now calling for an immediate stoppage of work, 187 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,352 pending reinstatement of the tea rounds. 188 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:15,512 Now, then, all those in favour, raise your right hands. 189 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:17,319 Count 'em, Bernie. 190 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:22,359 Are you in favour? 191 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:24,397 Of course I am, you fool. 192 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:26,199 Oh, well, er... 193 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:27,634 Well, that makes two. 194 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,473 Well, that's that. 195 00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:31,517 Mind if we get back to work, then? 196 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,910 Would you wait just one more minute, please? 197 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,262 I would like to make one last appeal 198 00:10:36,263 --> 00:10:38,279 to your reason and common sense. 199 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,836 I'll call for one more vote. And, in doing 200 00:10:40,837 --> 00:10:43,196 so, I would like you all to bear in mind 201 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:46,034 the fact that the Rovers are playing at home this afternoon 202 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:47,952 and the kick-off's at three o'clock. 203 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:51,397 Right? All those in favour? 204 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:55,150 Count 'em, Bernie. 205 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,197 There we are. 206 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:01,200 Trouble. 207 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:04,513 Well, well, well. Never saw so many people 208 00:11:04,514 --> 00:11:06,797 wanting to leave the room at the same time. 209 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:11,341 I have to inform you, Mr Plummer. It has 210 00:11:11,342 --> 00:11:13,274 just been decided by a majority vote 211 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:15,168 that unless the tea rounds are brought 212 00:11:15,169 --> 00:11:17,115 back, there will be an immediate walkout. 213 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,999 Oh, yes. We're playing at home this afternoon, aren't we? 214 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:24,446 You're not going to let them get away with this? 215 00:11:24,447 --> 00:11:25,592 Leave it to me, Mr Lewis. 216 00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:28,320 Now, look, Spanner. Let's be sensible about this. 217 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:30,743 You know very well that our extra tea rounds 218 00:11:30,744 --> 00:11:33,191 were laid on by the management as a privilege. 219 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:35,840 So doing away with them hardly breaks any union rules. 220 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:39,038 Ah. That's just where you're wrong, and I quote... 221 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:45,594 Section M, page 154, paragraph 79b, treatment of the workers. 222 00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:47,842 "Action may be taken if at any time the 223 00:11:47,843 --> 00:11:50,436 management fails to provide adequate facilities 224 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,716 for catering to the workers' natural needs." 225 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:54,120 Natural needs? 226 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:56,351 Drinking is a natural need, is it not? 227 00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:59,433 So's sex, but that doesn't mean they have to lay on crumpet. 228 00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:04,879 Very funny, Mr Plummer. Very funny. 229 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:06,731 We want to know if you are prepared 230 00:12:06,732 --> 00:12:08,158 to reinstate the tea rounds. 231 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:11,119 You know very well I can't do that, but, as works foreman, 232 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,123 I'll see that your complaint is passed 233 00:12:13,124 --> 00:12:14,750 on to the management. All right? 234 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:17,912 No, I'm afraid not. We need a more positive guarantee. 235 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,834 - Why don't we talk about it? - No. I'm damned if we will. 236 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:21,920 Mr Lewis, please. 237 00:12:21,921 --> 00:12:23,515 No. Now, listen to me, all of you. 238 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:24,795 Oh, blimey. 239 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:27,062 You may not understand what it means, but 240 00:12:27,063 --> 00:12:29,193 since I've been working in this factory, 241 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,237 I have made a time and motion study. 242 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:33,765 I know what it means, Mr Lewis. And if you've 243 00:12:33,766 --> 00:12:36,156 got the time, I've certainly got the motion. 244 00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:40,240 And don't think I hadn't noticed it, Mrs Moore. 245 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:42,710 Especially in your main production department. 246 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,190 Oh, you cheeky devil. 247 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:48,954 Anyhow, I'd like to try and show you how it works. 248 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:50,918 She knows how it works. I promise you. 249 00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:56,070 Mr Lewis, we are evading the issue. 250 00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:59,073 Are we or are we not going to get what we want? 251 00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:00,799 That's up to Mrs Moore. 252 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:04,594 I mean on the factory floor. 253 00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:06,637 Not ruddy likely. 254 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:14,998 All right. That's enough fun. Now, let's get down to business. 255 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:17,037 Sounds just like my old man. 256 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:20,518 All right, all right. 257 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:23,243 In this factory. 166 extra mugs of 258 00:13:23,244 --> 00:13:26,119 tea are served in the average week. 259 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:29,096 Now, on the basis that one worker has to make 260 00:13:29,097 --> 00:13:31,992 a trip to the toilet for every pint consumed, 261 00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:35,039 this means that he makes 16 trips in one day. 262 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:37,715 Poor devil. He must have a weakness. 263 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:41,350 No, not quite, Mr Hulke. It means that, allowing for an average time 264 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:44,114 of four and a half minutes for each trip to the toilet, 265 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,709 72 minutes are lost in each day. 266 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:51,238 Which equals 15 hours lost going to the toilet in one week. 267 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:52,515 You see? 268 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:55,115 - So what is the answer? - Tie a knot in it. 269 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,820 Quite. But a less painful solution, in my opinion, 270 00:14:01,821 --> 00:14:04,149 was simply to cut out the extra tea rounds. 271 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:05,515 Doesn't that make sense? 272 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:07,956 Just one moment, please, Mr Lewis. 273 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:11,511 Am I to understand, then, that the management want the workers 274 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,910 to stop going to the loo, when they want to? 275 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,320 I didn't say that exactly. 276 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:18,598 You just want to cut down on the number of trips they want to make? 277 00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:20,797 Well, yes. That's it. Exactly. 278 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:24,476 I thought so. It is a clear case of restrictive practise. 279 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:25,560 Right into it. 280 00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:26,670 Everybody out. 281 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:37,117 Fine mess I made of that. 282 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:40,352 It would have been simpler to have done what they wanted. 283 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,397 I'm like you. I don't give in easily. 284 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:44,998 You'll have to, if you want them back tomorrow. 285 00:14:44,999 --> 00:14:45,999 Yes, I know. 286 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,259 Well, it gives us a free afternoon, anyway. 287 00:14:48,260 --> 00:14:49,260 Yes... Us? 288 00:14:49,261 --> 00:14:51,061 We'll have a run out into the country and 289 00:14:51,062 --> 00:14:52,955 something to eat at a little pub I know. 290 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:54,040 Sorry, I'm busy. 291 00:14:54,041 --> 00:14:55,953 I'll pick you up at the Odeon at half past two. 292 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:57,759 Lewis, it's no use. 293 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,440 And try not to be late. There's no waiting there. 294 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:05,519 Ah, Spanner. 295 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,397 Thanks a lot. I thought we were going 296 00:15:07,398 --> 00:15:08,911 to have to work this afternoon. 297 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,719 Dead worried, I was. 298 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,837 But what about your loss of production? 299 00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:15,389 Who cares? Think of the wages we're saving. 300 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,276 What's up with him, then? He's gone potty. 301 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:24,751 On the contrary. I think he's learning some sense at last. 302 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,309 Saving on the wages... Saving on the wages... 303 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:29,357 What's he on about? 304 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,909 Anyway, are you all right for this afternoon? 305 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,231 Oh, er... no, I don't think so. Thanks, Vic. 306 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,471 I promised to help Mum with a few things. 307 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:40,395 - What, instead of the football? - Yeah. Funny girl, aren't I? 308 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,478 Oh, hey. She's gone potty an' all. 309 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:46,313 Saving on the wages... 310 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,555 Excuse the rush, but I've got a lot to do. Bye. 311 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,199 Lot to do... 312 00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:02,953 I wish I had a lot to do. 313 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:04,952 Don't we all? Thanks for the lift, Sid. 314 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:07,316 All right. See you down the pub tonight? 315 00:16:07,317 --> 00:16:09,592 I doubt it. The lord and master is home. 316 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:13,037 - Then you'll have plenty to do. - You must be joking. 317 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:15,430 Fred is strictly a Saturday-nighter. 318 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:17,159 What a shocking waste. 319 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:19,311 Oh, get you. You never stop, I suppose. 320 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:20,675 Only to fill my pipe. 321 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:26,080 That'll do, saucy. 322 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:29,399 Oh, hello, Fred. 323 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:31,153 Sid just gave me a lift home. 324 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,835 - Oh. - I hope that's all he gave you. 325 00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:34,920 Fred. 326 00:16:34,921 --> 00:16:36,799 I thought you were having a canteen lunch. 327 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:39,839 That little twerp Spanner organised another walkout. 328 00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:43,038 Another strike? How can I sell our products if you don't make 'em? 329 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:46,318 What are you so surprised about? It's only the 13th this year. 330 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,232 Cor. What's it all about this time? 331 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:51,313 I suppose you could call it the take in and put out figures. 332 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,960 Take in and put out figures? 333 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:57,431 Technically known as the T and P figures. 334 00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:58,874 Sid. 335 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:00,952 I'm glad you both find it so very funny. 336 00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:02,040 Yeah. 337 00:17:02,041 --> 00:17:03,600 There's always trouble at the works. 338 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:06,400 We seem to be having it once a week, as regular as clockwork. 339 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:08,253 I thought that's how you liked it. 340 00:17:08,254 --> 00:17:10,554 Come on, Fred. I'll get you something to eat. 341 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:11,676 I could do with a bit. 342 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:13,717 Spoken like a true man. 343 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,439 Come on. 344 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,719 That's all I need. 345 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,757 A face full of sodding knickers. 346 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:37,035 Eugh. 347 00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:40,238 Nice Joey. Pretty Joey. 348 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,277 Pretty little boy, then. 349 00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:44,079 Nice little boy, then. 350 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:45,879 Who's a nice little boy? 351 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,917 Say, hello, Mummy. 352 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,993 Hello, Mummy. Hello, Mummy. Go on. Say it. 353 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:52,594 Hello. Mummy. 354 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:55,798 Look what Mummy's got for him. 355 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:58,190 A nice little toy. 356 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,994 A nice little toy for a clever little boy. 357 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:04,231 Ta, Mummy. Ta, Mummy. 358 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:06,039 - Ta, Mummy. - Gorblimey. 359 00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:08,271 Can't you give that poor bleeding bird a rest? 360 00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:11,194 It's the only way you can get him to talk, chatting to them. 361 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:13,511 Chatting, yes. Not nagging him to death. 362 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:17,230 We've had him nearly a year now. He really ought to say something. 363 00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:19,471 He would if he could get a word in edgeways. 364 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:21,995 You've had me for 25 years and I still have trouble. 365 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:26,154 If only he'd give a little chirp now and then, that'd be something. 366 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:28,835 He really ought to make some sort of noise. 367 00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:32,357 - How about some dinner? - Oh, no. He's got plenty to eat. 368 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,198 For me. Not for him. 369 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,431 Haven't you had anything, then? 370 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:40,354 No. Didn't Myrtle tell you there's another strike on? 371 00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:42,611 She rushed upstairs to wash her hair. I 372 00:18:42,612 --> 00:18:44,673 wondered why she was home lunch time. 373 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:47,594 - Now you know, don't you? - Did you hear that, Joey? 374 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:50,275 All those naughty men are on strike again. 375 00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:53,558 Yes. Naughty men. Naughty men. 376 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:55,950 - How about something to eat? - I've had something. 377 00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:58,475 For me. For Pete's sake. 378 00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:00,517 Oh. 379 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:03,957 Well, I could make you some beans on toast, I think. 380 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:06,555 No. Nothing elaborate, thank you. 381 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:10,160 Mummy's just going to get Daddy some din-dins. 382 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:13,119 And you'll be all right till I get back? Will you, then? 383 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,271 Of course he'll be all bloody right. 384 00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:18,478 What do you think he's going to do? Chuck himself into his drink? 385 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:21,200 He doesn't like being left alone. It upsets him. 386 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:24,398 And when he gets upset, he dirties his cage. 387 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,957 She spoils you to budgery. 388 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:33,474 You know that? 389 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:46,118 What do you think your daddy's got for you today, then? 390 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,157 A honey ring. 391 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:49,959 Yes. 392 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,271 What have you got to say to that, then? 393 00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:54,317 Ta, Daddy. 394 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:55,959 Ta, Daddy. 395 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:57,997 Come on, mate. You can talk to me. 396 00:19:58,080 --> 00:19:59,355 Ta. 397 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:00,840 Ta. 398 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:04,038 My washing's all over the floor in there. 399 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:06,077 Here, what are you doing to him? 400 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:08,311 - Nothing. - Oh, yes, you are. 401 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:11,518 What's nasty Daddy been doing to him, then? 402 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:14,035 Nasty Daddy just bought him a honey ring, that's all. 403 00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:16,760 Are you going to report me to the RSPCA? 404 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:20,914 Oh. Did the nasty man buy him a horrid old honey ring? 405 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,275 Dear, oh dear, oh dear. 406 00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:24,032 How do you expect him to talk if you 407 00:20:24,033 --> 00:20:25,478 keep stuffing him up with food? 408 00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:27,870 One lousy honey ring won't stop him from talking. 409 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:31,078 If I thought that, I'd have bought you a crate of 'em years ago. 410 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:32,879 Oh. Never mind. 411 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:35,395 Mummy will take the nasty thing away. There. 412 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:37,517 That cost me a pint of beer. 413 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:39,876 - Now look what's happened. - What? What? 414 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,270 Well, he's done something. 415 00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:44,317 Here. Hold this. 416 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,357 Never mind, Joey. 417 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:48,750 Mummy will make it nice and clean again. 418 00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:52,470 Yes, she will. Little Joey. 419 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:07,995 He's after you, you know. 420 00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:10,315 Who? 421 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:11,754 Sid Plummer. 422 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:13,559 What? 423 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,597 Oh, Fred, you must be joking. 424 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:17,592 What do you mean he's after me? 425 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,263 I can tell. You can't be a commercial traveller 426 00:21:20,264 --> 00:21:22,630 without knowing when a bloke's on the make. 427 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:25,713 I should know. I mean, I've seen the others at it. 428 00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:28,592 Just because he gives me a lift home? 429 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:30,637 It's the way he looks at you. 430 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:32,677 Not that I can blame him. 431 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:36,151 You ask for it, flashing your legs and... things 432 00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:37,799 - all over the place. - What? 433 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,509 Well, I mean, look at 'em. Like two bald-headed 434 00:21:40,510 --> 00:21:42,591 convicts trying to burst out of jail. 435 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:44,399 Fred, you're jealous. 436 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:47,917 Me? I wouldn't be seen dead with a couple of things like that. 437 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,753 I mean, of Sid. 438 00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:51,877 Don't you realise he's at a dangerous age? 439 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:54,191 At that age, a bloke will try almost anything. 440 00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:56,795 Oh, well, thank you very much. 441 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:58,837 I didn't mean that. 442 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,754 I get very worried about you, me being away so much. 443 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:06,919 Fred, do you really think I'd want to play around with anyone else 444 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:10,835 when I've got a smashing bloke like you to play around with? 445 00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:12,877 I know women. 446 00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:14,881 When there's no prime beef handy, 447 00:22:14,882 --> 00:22:17,034 they'll make do with any scrag end. 448 00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:20,255 Well, then, you want to make sure that there is 449 00:22:20,256 --> 00:22:23,390 plenty of prime beef when I need it. Don't you? 450 00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:25,790 Steady on. I've just pressed these trousers. 451 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,759 - Take them off, why don't you? - What, in the middle of the day? 452 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:30,399 I've got the rest of the day off. 453 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,598 Don't you realise, there's a time and a place for everything. 454 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:36,798 Well, if you've got the time, I've got the place. 455 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:38,837 What, before tea? 456 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:49,599 Thanks, Bernie. Want to go to the game? 457 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:51,840 Do you... 458 00:22:51,841 --> 00:22:53,480 Hello, Mrs Spanner. Are you all right, then? 459 00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:55,631 Stop that bloody row. Shut up. 460 00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:59,593 - What did she say? - Turn that thing off. 461 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:00,909 Turn it off. 462 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:04,072 Just a minute, I'll turn this off. Now, what did you say? 463 00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:06,000 Turn... Turn it off. 464 00:23:06,001 --> 00:23:07,354 - It is off. - I know it is. 465 00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:09,895 Do you want a stand ticket for the game? 466 00:23:09,896 --> 00:23:10,896 Yes, please. 467 00:23:10,897 --> 00:23:12,666 All right. Pick me up at half past two. 468 00:23:12,667 --> 00:23:13,667 And, Vic... 469 00:23:13,668 --> 00:23:16,671 I just want to say that I think you handled the men marvellous. 470 00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:18,513 Oh, yes. Well, er... it's just a 471 00:23:18,514 --> 00:23:20,595 natural gift that, you know, Bernie? 472 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:23,149 Some men are born with the qualities of leadership. 473 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:25,357 I don't agree with what the blokes are saying. 474 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:26,635 What's that, then? 475 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:28,632 That you're a miserable little leader. 476 00:23:28,633 --> 00:23:30,396 Size has got nothing to do with it. 477 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:33,113 I think you'd better get going. 478 00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:35,157 And don't you worry, Vic. 479 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:38,711 They'll laugh the other side of their faces... 480 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:40,757 when you're prime minister. 481 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,573 Good for nothing, little sod. Just like his 482 00:23:44,574 --> 00:23:47,029 bloody old father, may he rest in pieces. 483 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:51,119 Well, well, well. If it isn't my dear, sweet, old mum. 484 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:54,750 Don't come slobbering over me. I'm busy. I'll tell you another thing. 485 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:57,072 Tell that halfwitted giant if he brings 486 00:23:57,073 --> 00:23:58,914 that motorbike round here again, 487 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:00,829 I'm going to kick him where it hurts. 488 00:24:00,830 --> 00:24:01,830 Mum, please. 489 00:24:01,831 --> 00:24:03,956 This is a respectable and refined neighbourhood. 490 00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:05,679 And don't you bloody well forget it. 491 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:08,753 How can I, when you keep reminding me of it so nicely? 492 00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,433 Oh, shut up and sit down, 493 00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,477 or you'll be late for your work. 494 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:14,517 Oh, er... We er... 495 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,434 Erm... we don't have to go back this afternoon, Mum. 496 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:20,592 You've started another bloody strike, haven't you? 497 00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:22,990 Haven't you? You have, haven't you? 498 00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:26,596 The men had a grievance, and as their appointed representative, 499 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,779 I could not let them be ground underfoot. 500 00:24:28,780 --> 00:24:29,780 Crap. 501 00:24:29,781 --> 00:24:32,598 Mum, please. I am working there for the good of the workers. 502 00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:34,259 You never did a day's work in your 503 00:24:34,260 --> 00:24:36,071 life. You're like your bloody father. 504 00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,800 My father was a victim of the capitalist-ridden society. 505 00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:41,190 Your father was a victim of the gin-ridden society, 506 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,840 and if I hadn't taken in lodgers, where would we be now? 507 00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:45,115 I pay my way. 508 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:47,351 Oh, yes. I forgot about that. 509 00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,751 Yes. I've been wondering what I'd do with your £4 this week. 510 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:53,150 Take myself to the Bahamas, perhaps. 511 00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,152 If me and my money aren't welcome here... 512 00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:57,675 Oh, sit down on your backside and shut up. 513 00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:00,217 If you spent more time sitting on it and less 514 00:25:00,218 --> 00:25:02,835 time talking through it, we might get somewhere. 515 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:05,314 Now, we've got to feed the poor, bloody, 516 00:25:05,315 --> 00:25:07,358 hard-working strikers, haven't we? 517 00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:09,397 There you are. 518 00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,437 - Cold sausages. - What? 519 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:13,183 You're spoiling me, aren't you? 520 00:25:13,184 --> 00:25:15,275 Giving it to me 15 times in one week. 521 00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:16,635 Cooee. 522 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:18,359 I'm in the dining room, Mr Coote. 523 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:21,357 Oh, hello. 524 00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:24,035 There you are. Lunch is all ready. 525 00:25:24,120 --> 00:25:26,316 Unless you want to wash your hands first. 526 00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:29,199 I think I can wait until after. Thank you, Mrs Spanner. 527 00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,511 - Good. You sit here, Mr Coote. - Oh, yes. 528 00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:33,671 I've put a clean napkin in your ring for you. 529 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:36,116 Ooh. You're much too good to me, Mrs Spanner. 530 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:38,954 Not at all. I'm only too glad to have a real gentleman 531 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:40,952 in the house, for a change. 532 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:43,544 Ever since my poor dear husband 533 00:25:43,545 --> 00:25:45,437 passed on, I've missed it, you know? 534 00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:47,000 I'm sure you have. 535 00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:49,269 How's Victor? 536 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:51,595 All right. 537 00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:54,320 - I've got your favourite today. - You haven't. 538 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:57,393 I have. Nice hot steak and kidney pie. 539 00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:58,755 Oh, dear Mrs Spanner. 540 00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:00,911 - You spoil me, you do. - Not at all. 541 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:02,798 You really do. 542 00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:05,031 You a nice clean boy again, then? 543 00:26:05,120 --> 00:26:07,077 What's he going to say? Ta, Mummy? 544 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,470 Ta, Mummy. Ta, Mummy. 545 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:11,870 Talk about a non-stop performance. 546 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,998 I thought he was going to talk. His beak opened and closed. 547 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:16,230 - No. - Yes. 548 00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:17,320 Fancy that. 549 00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:19,267 A bird opening and closing its beak. 550 00:26:19,268 --> 00:26:21,235 We'll have to write to the newspapers. 551 00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:24,950 Well, it's a start. Generally, he just sits there doing nothing. 552 00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,191 He's a natural mimic. He's copying you. 553 00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:29,954 Say, hello, Mummy. Hello, Mummy. 554 00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:31,040 Say, hello, Mummy. 555 00:26:31,041 --> 00:26:33,590 What's all this stuff still left on the table for? 556 00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:36,559 - Are we having an exhibition? - Do you want me to clear it? 557 00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:38,597 No, no, no. I can manage. 558 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:40,399 Say, hello, Mummy. 559 00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:42,437 Hello. Go on. 560 00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:44,477 Hello, Mummy. 561 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:46,119 Hello, Joey. 562 00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:49,117 I don't understand it. 563 00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:53,035 Mrs Phillips' bird talked in three months. Whole sentences. 564 00:26:53,120 --> 00:26:55,237 Mind you, they weren't very nice things it said. 565 00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:57,630 They had to cover it up when the vicar called. 566 00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:00,189 Face it. He's a dead loss. We should get rid of him. 567 00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:02,732 No. He's company for me. That was the 568 00:27:02,733 --> 00:27:04,991 whole idea of it, wasn't it, Joey? 569 00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:07,037 You'd be company for me. Wouldn't you? 570 00:27:07,120 --> 00:27:09,680 It's all right for you. You go to work and enjoy yourself. 571 00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:11,194 I'm here alone all day. 572 00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:13,556 You'll be alone all night if you don't shut up. 573 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:15,757 Do you mind? I'm trying to work out my bets. 574 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,714 I wonder if he wants a little mate. 575 00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:23,190 What would he want a little mate for? 576 00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:25,158 Give him something to do. 577 00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:26,720 What? 578 00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:28,393 Well, you know. 579 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:29,914 No, I don't know. 580 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:33,277 Birds and fishes have always been a mystery to me. What do they do? 581 00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:35,670 Don't be silly. 582 00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:38,116 They... bill and coo. 583 00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:39,395 What with? 584 00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:42,917 Well, I don't have to go into details, do I? 585 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:46,839 Blimey. Males and females all look the same, don't they? 586 00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:48,589 We can tell what we've got hold of, 587 00:27:48,590 --> 00:27:50,072 but how the hell can they tell? 588 00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:53,847 Well, we know Joey's a he bird, don't we? 589 00:27:53,848 --> 00:27:55,076 Cock. 590 00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:57,914 He is. The man in the shop said so. 591 00:27:58,000 --> 00:27:59,798 Cock bird, not "he" bird. 592 00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:01,553 It's all the same thing. 593 00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:04,314 You wouldn't call yourself a cock man, would you? 594 00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:06,471 Opportunity would be a fine thing. 595 00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:17,636 Stop that row and get that thing out of here. 596 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:19,677 Not so much noise. 597 00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:22,519 Not so much noise. My mum's there. 598 00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:24,796 Go on, you great gormless lump. 599 00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:29,070 Quite right, Mrs Spanner. It's a disgrace. 600 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:31,117 You mind your own bloody business. 601 00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:37,716 Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realise you were here, Mr Coote. 602 00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:39,757 Oh, that's all right... 603 00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:41,559 Agatha. 604 00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:42,994 Has Victor gone? 605 00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:46,278 Yes, Charles. We're all alone now. 606 00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:48,556 Good. How about it, then? 607 00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:51,599 Oh, I don't know. I really ought to do the dishes first. 608 00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:54,400 Oh, they can wait. Just a quick one. 609 00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:56,949 I do find it very hard to say no to you. 610 00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:59,430 You know you like it just as much as I do. 611 00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:01,477 Very well. I'll draw the curtains. 612 00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:10,759 - Right. - Yes. 613 00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:12,797 Cut for deal. 614 00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:26,600 Oh. 615 00:29:26,601 --> 00:29:28,354 What's the matter? Did you lose something? 616 00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:30,159 Oh, damn near. 617 00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:32,197 Stay there. 618 00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:42,437 Oh, so that's your game, is it? 619 00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:43,874 Bernie, follow that car. 620 00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:44,960 What car? 621 00:29:44,961 --> 00:29:46,270 That car. The one with Myrtle in it. 622 00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:47,360 Myrtle who? 623 00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:50,074 - Oh, come on. Get going. - Right. We're off. 624 00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:06,596 What do you mean, me wasting time? 625 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:08,956 You never win anything on the horses, do you? 626 00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:10,997 How ignorant can you get? 627 00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:15,120 I've told you. I work it out scientifically. I study form. 628 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:17,157 Why don't you win sometimes? 629 00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:19,471 Can I help it if they don't run scientifically? 630 00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:21,701 It doesn't seem right to me, throwing that 631 00:30:21,702 --> 00:30:23,793 money away each day and us going without. 632 00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:25,872 Don't notice you going without anything. 633 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:29,840 I wouldn't mind, if you could just pick a winner every now and then. 634 00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:31,718 You reckon you could do better, then? 635 00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:33,871 I couldn't do much worse, could I? 636 00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:35,917 All right. Let's see. 637 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,390 I'll read out the runners in the Newmarket three 638 00:30:38,391 --> 00:30:40,438 o'clock. See if you can pick the winners. 639 00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:43,399 That's silly. We won't know the winners until this evening. 640 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:45,437 No, no, no, this is yesterday's racing. 641 00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:46,920 - Oh. - Here we go. 642 00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:54,198 Anthony Watt. Jolmon. Carbia. Cleopatra. 643 00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:58,677 Sid, did you hear that? 644 00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:03,790 Yes. His very first chirp. How about that? 645 00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:06,714 Oh. It must have been one of them words you read out. 646 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:08,632 - What words? - One of them horse's names. 647 00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:09,720 Cleopatra? 648 00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:12,999 - There. - Yes. 649 00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:15,037 Oh. Does he like that word, then? 650 00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:16,839 Cleopatra. 651 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:18,877 Cleopatra. 652 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:19,960 Cleopatra. 653 00:31:19,961 --> 00:31:22,032 All right, all right. Don't tire him out. 654 00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:24,077 Oh, Sid. Isn't it exciting? 655 00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:26,523 Yeah. Mind you, it's time he did something 656 00:31:26,524 --> 00:31:28,996 else apart from dropping good luck messages. 657 00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:32,312 - Oh. - Right. Now, then. Where were we? 658 00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:33,959 We don't have to go any further. 659 00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:35,926 If that's what Joey liked, I'll pick it. 660 00:31:35,927 --> 00:31:37,790 - Cleopatra? - Yes. 661 00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:39,917 It was a 10-1 shot. It had no chance. 662 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:41,753 I don't mind. Well, what won? 663 00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,960 By three lengths-Cleopatra. 664 00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:47,271 There you are. What did I tell you? 665 00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:50,910 You didn't pick it. The blooming bird picked it. 666 00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:52,514 Well, it won, didn't it? 667 00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:55,069 Are you going potty? Just because he likes the word. 668 00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:56,833 What does he know about horses? 669 00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:58,843 I don't know, but he's done better in one 670 00:31:58,844 --> 00:32:00,675 race than you've done the whole season. 671 00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:02,717 But that's not the point, is it? 672 00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:05,036 You're the one who said you could pick 'em 673 00:32:05,037 --> 00:32:07,272 better than me, so let's see you pick one. 674 00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:09,591 I'll read you the 3:30 runners. 675 00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:12,120 Diddy Ching. 676 00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:14,157 Fast Day Boy. 677 00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:15,913 Golden Gay. 678 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,036 Tiny Tim. 679 00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:19,919 You keep out of this. Now, where was I? 680 00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:21,798 That'll do me. Tiny Tim. 681 00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:23,872 Just cos he chirped again? 682 00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:25,952 Yes. Well, who won? 683 00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:28,919 This is ridiculous. There's no reason to it. 684 00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:31,754 We can't all pick scientifically, can we? 685 00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:32,990 Well, who won? 686 00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:34,639 Tiny Tim. 687 00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:36,837 4-1. 688 00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:38,877 There you are. You see? 689 00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:40,713 Now, are you satisfied? 690 00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:43,110 Who's a clever boy. Then? 691 00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:45,320 Did he pick the winners for Mummy, then? 692 00:32:45,321 --> 00:32:46,750 Shut up. Shut up a minute. 693 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:48,183 I want to try another one. 694 00:32:48,184 --> 00:32:49,958 I don't feel like doing any more. 695 00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:51,997 Not you, him. Now, listen, mush. 696 00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:54,640 I'm going to read the runners of the four o'clock. 697 00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:57,030 Now, concentrate. Are you ready? 698 00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:58,679 Right. 699 00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:00,319 The Woozer. 700 00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:03,074 X-Ray. Double Dwelling. 701 00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:06,319 - I'll see you. - Two pairs. 702 00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:08,710 Oh, dear. You've beaten me again. 703 00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,110 I knew this was going to be my lucky day. 704 00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:13,157 - Now, no looking. - Oh. 705 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:28,277 Hello, Mrs Spragg. It's got very cold, innit? 706 00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:29,760 Not surprising. 707 00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:41,706 I thought I heard the front door. 708 00:33:41,707 --> 00:33:42,707 So did I. 709 00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:54,872 Victor. What are you doing without your trousers on? 710 00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:57,957 Well, you can talk, I must say. 711 00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:00,919 What? Oh. Argh. 712 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,957 Polar Prince. 713 00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:05,759 Silver Plate. 714 00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:07,877 Pollyanna. 715 00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:09,553 Well, did it? 716 00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:12,917 Yes. He's picked the winner of every single race yesterday. 717 00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:15,310 He must have seen the results in the paper. 718 00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:18,871 That's it... What are you talking about? He can't read, can he? 719 00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:22,397 Well, how do you know? You didn't even know how they made love. 720 00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:24,551 He's getting information somewhere. 721 00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:27,109 Where are you getting it? Come on, talk. Talk. 722 00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:29,476 Oh, don't be silly. You know he can't talk. 723 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:32,712 You're quite right. Big, fat, beady-eyed, useless lump. 724 00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:35,952 Don't talk to him like that. And what do you mean useless? 725 00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:38,475 He's picked all the winners this afternoon. 726 00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:40,517 After they'd run. 727 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:43,832 Fat lot of good that is. If he could pick 'em before they... 728 00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:46,997 I wonder. What's the time? 729 00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:48,080 Half past three. 730 00:34:48,081 --> 00:34:50,630 I can be at the betting shop by half past four. 731 00:34:50,720 --> 00:34:53,030 Now, listen, genius. Listen to me. 732 00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:56,397 Who's a nice fella, then? Who's a big, handsome, clever lad? 733 00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:57,914 What are you going to do to him? 734 00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:00,281 Shut up a minute. I'm going to read you 735 00:35:00,282 --> 00:35:02,677 the runners of the 4:30 at Kempton today. 736 00:35:03,720 --> 00:35:05,677 Now, relax. Think carefully. 737 00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:08,070 Winners only. Here we go. 738 00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:09,913 Family Steps. 739 00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:12,360 Petticoat. 740 00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:13,715 Peewit The Third. 741 00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:16,593 Peewit The Third? 742 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:21,038 He's never even been placed. You must be out of your tiny mind. 743 00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:23,271 Oh. Now look what you've done. 744 00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:24,999 You made him dirty his cage again. 745 00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:27,834 I'm not surprised. Peewit The Third. 746 00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:29,354 All right. I'll do it. 747 00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:31,199 But I'm warning you, mate. If you're 748 00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:32,911 wrong, I'll wring your bloody neck. 749 00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:35,390 Oh, don't worry. 750 00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:39,076 Mummy will wring Daddy's bloody neck. 751 00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:42,557 It's all right. I'll go. 752 00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:48,797 - Oh, hello. - Excuse me, Mr Coote. 753 00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:51,679 Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt your dressing. 754 00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:54,878 That's all right. I was just having a game of cards. 755 00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:57,600 - Oh, yeah. I see. - Would you care to have a game? 756 00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:00,752 Not just now, thank you. I'm hardly dressed for it, am I? 757 00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:02,797 Oho. We'll soon get those off you. 758 00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:05,076 No, thank you. Actually, I've come to see Vic. 759 00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:07,117 Oh, there he is. 760 00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:10,720 Well, if you'll excuse me, I must get back to it. 761 00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:15,957 I thought I might find you back here. 762 00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:17,759 Er... here's your trousers. 763 00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:19,797 Oh, thanks a lot. 764 00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:22,090 Oh. They'll be very useful, they will, in 765 00:36:22,091 --> 00:36:24,352 case my legs ever have a row and split up. 766 00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:27,114 It wasn't my fault. You told me to follow that car. 767 00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:29,351 - All right. All right. Did you? - What? 768 00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:30,794 Follow the car. 769 00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:32,693 Oh, yeah. I stuck to 'em like a limpet. 770 00:36:32,694 --> 00:36:33,694 Where did they go? 771 00:36:33,695 --> 00:36:35,990 They just drove around, then went into a cinema. 772 00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:37,639 Right, come on. 773 00:36:37,720 --> 00:36:40,679 Good. If we hurry, we can make the second half of the game. 774 00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:42,373 We are not going to the football. 775 00:36:42,374 --> 00:36:43,374 Oh. 776 00:36:43,375 --> 00:36:45,007 Activities of the Koo Koo islanders. 777 00:36:45,008 --> 00:36:46,960 There's no sight quite so thrilling 778 00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:49,680 as to watch them preparing their evening meal. 779 00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:53,549 Is this the wonderfully interesting film you heard about? 780 00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:55,597 No, it's the one after this. 781 00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:58,195 Women are busily engaged in peeling 782 00:36:58,196 --> 00:37:00,709 vegetables and cutting up the meat. 783 00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:07,870 To do this, they use knives and other kitchen implements. 784 00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:11,590 Let us watch their nimble fingers at work for a few moments. 785 00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:16,835 A spectacle few White people have been privileged to witness. 786 00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:21,510 - Blimey. How much more of this? - Why don't you stop moaning? 787 00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:23,239 Oh, that's choice, that is. 788 00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:25,198 It was bad enough missing the football 789 00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:27,332 without spending six bob to come and watch 790 00:37:27,333 --> 00:37:29,240 a bunch of idiots making an Irish stew. 791 00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:30,998 And that is where we must bid a 792 00:37:30,999 --> 00:37:33,109 reluctant farewell to Koo Koo Island. 793 00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:34,600 He's got his arm round her now. 794 00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:36,592 - Who? - Lewis, of course. 795 00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:40,640 The film you are about to see was refused a certificate 796 00:37:40,720 --> 00:37:42,996 by the British Board of Film Censors. 797 00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:46,039 But has been granted a showing by the local council. 798 00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:47,634 That sounds more like it. 799 00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:53,718 I am a well-known and practising doctor. 800 00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:57,157 In the artistic and beautiful picture, which now follows. 801 00:37:57,240 --> 00:38:00,154 You will see naked men and women engaged 802 00:38:00,155 --> 00:38:02,713 in the various arts of sexual love. 803 00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:05,235 This is by no means intended to shock, 804 00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:08,950 but purely and frankly to demonstrate that the sexual act. 805 00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:11,475 Far from being something to be afraid of. 806 00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:14,307 Is, in fact, a great joy and pleasure, 807 00:38:14,308 --> 00:38:16,476 which can. And indeed should. 808 00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:18,392 Be enjoyed by everyone. 809 00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:21,546 First, let us familiarise ourselves with the 810 00:38:21,547 --> 00:38:24,272 component parts of this. The male body. 811 00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:28,800 And this. The female body. 812 00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:32,076 God, you don't miss a trick, do you? 813 00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:34,793 Cor. 814 00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:38,397 No, wait, Myrtle, please. 815 00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:40,437 Come on, Bernie. 816 00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:42,239 Come on. They're leaving. 817 00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:44,277 - Come on. - Oh, no. Not now. 818 00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:45,999 No. 819 00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:48,738 Let us look at the number of different ways 820 00:38:48,739 --> 00:38:51,155 in which we can bring the two together. 821 00:38:51,240 --> 00:38:53,197 Move. Come on. 822 00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:56,237 Oh, no. 823 00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:05,793 That's the line-up for the last race 824 00:39:05,794 --> 00:39:07,918 at Doncaster. Tote prices follow. 825 00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,123 And here is the result of the 4:30 at 826 00:39:10,124 --> 00:39:12,074 Kempton. First, Peewit The Third. 827 00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:14,117 He did it. Hey, Benny. 828 00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:16,157 Pound each way, 10-1. 829 00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:20,436 Finally got yourself a good win, Sidney? 830 00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:22,477 Congratulations. 831 00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:50,877 They've finished eating. 832 00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:53,919 I'm glad to hear that. That makes me feel a lot better. 833 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:55,434 What's the matter with you? 834 00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:57,678 Cor, stone me. You drag me away from the 835 00:39:57,679 --> 00:40:00,151 football match. You drag me out of the cinema. 836 00:40:00,240 --> 00:40:02,020 You drag me 20 miles into the country 837 00:40:02,021 --> 00:40:03,472 to watch them stuff themselves 838 00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:05,119 and then you ask what's the matter. 839 00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:06,873 You didn't have to come out with me. 840 00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:10,351 No, and I can't wait not to come out with you tomorrow, either. 841 00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:12,653 Listen, I'm not going to stand by and watch 842 00:40:12,654 --> 00:40:14,514 that nit having it away with Myrtle. 843 00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:17,399 Why not? It's better than watching them eating. 844 00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:19,083 Look, I honestly didn't know it was 845 00:40:19,084 --> 00:40:20,552 going to be that sort of a film. 846 00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:22,597 What a day. 847 00:40:22,680 --> 00:40:26,196 All it needs is for Dad to walk in now to make everything perfect. 848 00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:29,079 Oh, for heaven's sake. What's he got against me, anyway? 849 00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:31,880 Plenty, apart from the fact that you're the boss's son. 850 00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:33,030 Is that so terrible? 851 00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:35,112 You should hear him on that subject. 852 00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:38,511 Oh, charming. But what makes him think I want to marry you? 853 00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:40,464 Oh, he doesn't. On the contrary. He 854 00:40:40,465 --> 00:40:42,276 had you weighed up from the start. 855 00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:44,829 "I know all about blokes like young Mr Lewis." 856 00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:46,673 - Oh, listen, Myrtle... - Yes? 857 00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:49,195 Oh. Erm... another couple of those, please. 858 00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:52,520 I mean these, please. 859 00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:54,876 If I were you, I'd have stuck to your first request. 860 00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:58,672 I fancy the fella with the ears. 861 00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:00,877 Cor. Did you see that waitress? 862 00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:02,569 I've never seen anything like that 863 00:41:02,570 --> 00:41:04,510 before. Do you think that was all real? 864 00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:06,403 Of course. It's the only qualifications 865 00:41:06,404 --> 00:41:08,071 you need for the job. Big prospects. 866 00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:11,471 That's nothing. In some places. They're completely topless. 867 00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:12,835 Cor, nothing? 868 00:41:12,920 --> 00:41:14,195 Not a stitch. 869 00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:16,330 I bet that's tricky when they serve soup. 870 00:41:16,331 --> 00:41:18,194 It's a bit dodgy when they fry chips. 871 00:41:20,680 --> 00:41:23,912 If I say I'm sorry about the film, sorry for being the boss's son, 872 00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:27,198 and sorry for having such a lousy reputation, could we start again? 873 00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:29,875 And sorry for being on the make all the time with me? 874 00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:31,519 From now, just good friends. 875 00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:32,829 I'll drink to that. 876 00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:38,636 How about a dance? Is that within the rules? 877 00:41:38,720 --> 00:41:42,191 Yeah. Provided there's no dirty work in the clinches. 878 00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:47,397 Aye aye. He's got her on the floor now. 879 00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:49,597 What? In front of everybody? 880 00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:58,830 - I'm sorry. Lewis. - Oh, hello, Roger. 881 00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:01,304 I'm sorry I was put out today when you called. 882 00:42:01,305 --> 00:42:02,305 That's all right. 883 00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:04,670 It's all ok. You can use the old flat tonight. 884 00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:07,993 You bastard. 885 00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:10,037 Wait, Myrtle, please. 886 00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:31,797 Thank you, Joey. 887 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:45,449 Funny, but I don't seem to have seen anything 888 00:42:45,450 --> 00:42:47,631 of young Mr Lewis since we've been back. 889 00:42:47,720 --> 00:42:48,720 Have you, Bern? 890 00:42:48,721 --> 00:42:51,350 No. Well, he's away. That's what you told me. 891 00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:53,671 That was a couple of weeks ago, wasn't it? 892 00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:55,926 I just wondered whether he'd left us for 893 00:42:55,927 --> 00:42:58,198 any reason. Have you heard anything, Myrt? 894 00:42:58,280 --> 00:43:00,590 I couldn't care less what's happened to him. 895 00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:02,599 Ha-ha-ha. You dropped me in it there. 896 00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:04,230 You didn't say it was a secret. 897 00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:06,039 - Hello. - Hello, Sid. 898 00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:08,077 Sitting down on the job again? 899 00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:10,277 Mr Plummer, I know my job. Nothing in the rule 900 00:43:10,278 --> 00:43:12,393 book says I cannot do it in a seated position. 901 00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:14,199 I'll bet you say that to all the girls. 902 00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:17,830 Mr Plummer, if you want to bring a specific charge against me... 903 00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:19,778 No, no, no. Sit down. Enjoy yourself. 904 00:43:19,779 --> 00:43:21,880 Relax. Go slow. Work to rule, if you like. 905 00:43:21,960 --> 00:43:23,917 There you are. Have a smoke as well. 906 00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:29,594 I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, Fred. Come on. 907 00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:30,750 Come in. 908 00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:33,555 Hello, Dad. 909 00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:36,519 Lewis, my boy. I didn't know you were back. 910 00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:39,479 We've got it. The Middle East contract. Show him, Mr Moore. 911 00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:42,503 If I may say so, Mr Boggs, it was done in the face 912 00:43:42,504 --> 00:43:45,158 of very stiff competition. Very stiff indeed. 913 00:43:45,240 --> 00:43:48,199 Signed by His Highness, King Frauzi of Aslam himself. 914 00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:53,309 Really? Another crowned head to add to our clientele. Excellent. 915 00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:55,278 - What's it for? - Bidets. 916 00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:57,674 Bidets. 917 00:43:57,760 --> 00:43:58,760 Yes. 1,000 of them. 918 00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:01,912 1,000 bidets. 919 00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:05,755 One for each of his wives. There mustn't be any favouritism, sir. 920 00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:07,559 Are you mad? 921 00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:08,903 We do not make bidets. 922 00:44:08,904 --> 00:44:11,270 It's high time we started. You sign that. 923 00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:14,219 I will not have my firm associated with the 924 00:44:14,220 --> 00:44:16,754 manufacture of such a dubious article. 925 00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:20,311 Dad, we cannot afford to turn it down. It's worth £19,000. 926 00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:22,357 I don't... 927 00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:25,596 19,000. 928 00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,275 That's an awful lot of money. And payment? 929 00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:30,750 On completion of the order in two months' time. 930 00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:33,150 Two months. 931 00:44:33,240 --> 00:44:34,640 Yes. That was the only snag. 932 00:44:34,720 --> 00:44:38,316 They have to have them in time for the feast of Abanibble, sir. 933 00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:40,430 Abanibble? 934 00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:43,107 That's right. When it's His Highness's 935 00:44:43,108 --> 00:44:45,959 custom to visit each of his wives in turn. 936 00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:47,633 It only happens once a year. 937 00:44:47,720 --> 00:44:49,791 I'm not surprised to hear it. 938 00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:52,759 But we couldn't possibly complete this order 939 00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:55,638 in two months. We haven't even got a design. 940 00:44:55,720 --> 00:44:57,286 Yes, we have. Mr Coote did one 941 00:44:57,287 --> 00:44:59,270 months ago. Now, come on, Dad. Sign. 942 00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:02,327 Oh, very well. I can't help feeling I'm 943 00:45:02,328 --> 00:45:05,072 going into something I shall regret. 944 00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:10,074 You're looking very well this morning, Mrs Moore. 945 00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:12,510 Thank you, Doctor. Can I get dressed again now? 946 00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:14,268 Yes. While I put my eyes back in. 947 00:45:14,269 --> 00:45:15,269 Another new suit? 948 00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:16,839 I had a bit of luck on the gee-gees. 949 00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:18,871 Again? You'll have to give me some tips. 950 00:45:18,872 --> 00:45:20,277 I've got a good one for you. 951 00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:22,511 Don't bend over in a tight skirt. Ha-ha. 952 00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:24,557 Saucy. 953 00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:29,150 Refused you a bridging loan for a measly 1,500? I don't believe it. 954 00:45:29,240 --> 00:45:31,302 I'm afraid it's true. I hadn't wanted to 955 00:45:31,303 --> 00:45:33,314 bother you with our financial problems, 956 00:45:33,400 --> 00:45:35,915 but the bank has been carrying us for some years. 957 00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:38,310 - And now they're dropping us? - It seems so. 958 00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:40,626 We'll just have to get out of that contract. 959 00:45:40,627 --> 00:45:42,474 Excuse me, WC. How much do you need? 960 00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:45,439 - I should think 1,000 would do. - Is that all? 1,000. 961 00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:47,830 Don't bother with banks. I can let you have that. 962 00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:48,920 You can, Mr Plummer? 963 00:45:48,921 --> 00:45:51,038 I haven't got it with me, but I can get it. 964 00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:54,238 Let's see. We've got an hour till the last race at Cheltenham. 965 00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:56,471 - Last race at Cheltenham? - That's right. 966 00:45:56,560 --> 00:45:59,234 I'll have to move fast. I've got to see a bird first. 967 00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:01,789 A bird at Cheltenham? 968 00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:04,454 You promised me you'd limit it to two bets 969 00:46:04,455 --> 00:46:06,909 a week, so he didn't over strain himself. 970 00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:08,719 Don't argue. 971 00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:11,110 - Read out the runners. - All right. 972 00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:13,510 But don't blame me if nothing happens. 973 00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:19,151 I'm sorry about this. It's nothing to do with me, Joey. 974 00:46:19,240 --> 00:46:21,197 I'm not the greedy one. 975 00:46:22,720 --> 00:46:25,519 All right? Here we go, then. 976 00:46:25,600 --> 00:46:27,910 4:30 at Cheltenham. 977 00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:29,719 Bob. 978 00:46:29,800 --> 00:46:31,757 Girlie. 979 00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:33,797 Hard-To-Get. 980 00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:35,837 Order Form. 981 00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:37,991 Proper Charlie. 982 00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:39,434 Sweet Sue. 983 00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:41,835 That's the one. 984 00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:46,917 What's the betting? 985 00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:48,719 - 18-1. - That'll do. 986 00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:52,070 18-1 on Sweet Sue. 987 00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:54,834 £56 win bet. 988 00:46:55,880 --> 00:47:00,113 That's exactly £1,026. 989 00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:01,759 That's just what I make it, Benny. 990 00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:04,036 Just what he makes it. Pints of blood, I'm giving. 991 00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:05,554 You'll get it all back. 992 00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:07,274 What good is getting it back if I've 993 00:47:07,275 --> 00:47:08,997 had a heart attack from paying it out? 994 00:47:09,080 --> 00:47:11,117 I'm sorry. You know I don't like doing this. 995 00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:13,604 You don't like doing this. I don't like doing 996 00:47:13,605 --> 00:47:15,956 this. So why do we go on suffering this way? 997 00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:18,509 Just because I've had a bit of luck for a change. 998 00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:21,517 For a change, he says. For a change. 999 00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:24,718 Have a look at this. It's all in black and white in the ledger. 1000 00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:27,679 In the last three weeks, 11 winning bets you've had. 1001 00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:30,719 £2,433. 1002 00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:33,797 You have taken from me. 1003 00:47:33,880 --> 00:47:35,620 I tell you what I'll do. Tomorrow I'll 1004 00:47:35,621 --> 00:47:37,271 come in here and I'll bet the lot... 1005 00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:39,903 No, no, no. No more, Sid. It's finished. 1006 00:47:39,904 --> 00:47:40,904 Finished? 1007 00:47:40,905 --> 00:47:43,435 From now on, there's a limit on you. £5. 1008 00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:45,830 What do you mean? What kind of a sportsman are you? 1009 00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:48,823 What's with the sportsman? If I was a 1010 00:47:48,824 --> 00:47:50,715 sportsman, I'd be riding the horses. 1011 00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:56,917 Ah, Mr Coote. I'd like you to show my father your bidet design. 1012 00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:59,879 By all means, Mr Lewis. I have it right here. 1013 00:48:01,240 --> 00:48:03,099 Yes, yes... if anyone has any use for 1014 00:48:03,100 --> 00:48:05,154 this sort of thing. Any idea of the cost? 1015 00:48:05,240 --> 00:48:09,996 Well, after basic outlay on a new mould and so on, about £7 each. 1016 00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:11,959 How about that, Dad? On this contract, 1017 00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:13,790 that could be worth over 100% profit. 1018 00:48:13,880 --> 00:48:15,195 He's hit on this marvellous 1019 00:48:15,196 --> 00:48:17,191 labour-saving idea. Tell him, Mr Coote. 1020 00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:20,037 It's quite simple. Instead of the conventional 1021 00:48:20,038 --> 00:48:22,560 arrangement of separate hot and cold taps, 1022 00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:24,074 and waste control tap, 1023 00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:27,517 the whole thing could be done by one simple control. Thus... 1024 00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:30,557 Hot, cold, 1025 00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:32,279 down the hole. 1026 00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:02,595 Drop everything. 1027 00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:09,715 Cut the switches. 1028 00:49:19,760 --> 00:49:21,717 Oh. Blimey. Now what's happened? 1029 00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:23,712 Excuse me. 1030 00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:33,159 All right. All right. All right. What's the hold-up? 1031 00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:37,875 - One at a time. - I'm sorry, Mr Plummer. 1032 00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:40,324 These men cannot put this fitting onto those. 1033 00:49:40,325 --> 00:49:41,325 Why not? 1034 00:49:41,326 --> 00:49:43,874 I stand to be corrected, but I think I'm right in stating 1035 00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:46,077 this is a combined tap and waste-pipe control. 1036 00:49:46,160 --> 00:49:48,834 - That's right. What about it? - Whose job is it to fit it? 1037 00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:51,089 What are you talking about? Ernie can do it. 1038 00:49:51,090 --> 00:49:52,197 Of course I can, Sid. 1039 00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:54,875 Oh, no, because Ernie is a tap fitter. 1040 00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:56,155 Willie can do it, then. 1041 00:49:56,240 --> 00:49:59,517 Oh, no, because Willie, as you well know, is a waste-pipe fitter. 1042 00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:01,034 Right. They can both do it. 1043 00:50:01,120 --> 00:50:04,033 No. If a tap fitter does it, he's doing a waste-pipe fitter's job. 1044 00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:06,954 If a waste-pipe fitter does it, he's doing a tap fitter's job. 1045 00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:09,127 Does it matter, as long as they're working? 1046 00:50:09,128 --> 00:50:10,397 That's what I was saying. 1047 00:50:10,480 --> 00:50:12,345 If you'll pardon me, you don't have 1048 00:50:12,346 --> 00:50:13,951 a say. This is union business. 1049 00:50:14,040 --> 00:50:15,303 It is our union, innit? 1050 00:50:15,304 --> 00:50:17,829 Exactly. And you'll do as it bloody tells you. 1051 00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:20,086 Listen, under a redundancy agreement... 1052 00:50:20,087 --> 00:50:21,994 All right, we know all about that. 1053 00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:24,072 But we're not making anybody redundant. 1054 00:50:24,160 --> 00:50:26,089 These men are doing their own jobs and 1055 00:50:26,090 --> 00:50:27,870 each other's jobs in the same time. 1056 00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:30,475 All right, Mr Spanner. What's your solution? 1057 00:50:30,560 --> 00:50:32,916 It's not the union's job to give solutions. 1058 00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:34,036 You can say that again. 1059 00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:36,430 Just to show I'm not trying to make difficulties, 1060 00:50:36,520 --> 00:50:39,638 if you was to scrap this fitting and make two separate fittings... 1061 00:50:39,720 --> 00:50:42,280 Impossible. That basin was made for that fitting. 1062 00:50:42,360 --> 00:50:44,563 That's typical. Isn't that typical? I offer a 1063 00:50:44,564 --> 00:50:46,718 solution and they start making difficulties. 1064 00:50:46,800 --> 00:50:49,554 Hang on. I've got it. Suppose they work together? 1065 00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:51,903 Ernie puts the fitting in the hole, connects it to 1066 00:50:51,904 --> 00:50:54,078 the pipe, then Willie connects it to the outlet. 1067 00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:56,454 You're missing the point. You've still got two 1068 00:50:56,455 --> 00:50:58,552 men doing two men's jobs in the same time. 1069 00:50:58,640 --> 00:51:01,838 Which is the same as one man doing one man's job in half the time. 1070 00:51:01,920 --> 00:51:03,039 What's wrong with that? 1071 00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:05,231 If every worker did his job in half the time, 1072 00:51:05,320 --> 00:51:07,198 the country would be in a right old mess. 1073 00:51:07,280 --> 00:51:08,430 Bernie. 1074 00:51:08,520 --> 00:51:10,432 Wait a minute. You can't bring 'em out. 1075 00:51:10,520 --> 00:51:12,699 Until I acquaint the union general secretary 1076 00:51:12,700 --> 00:51:15,072 with all the facts, you leave me no alternative. 1077 00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:17,117 Everybody out. 1078 00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:32,955 Come on, brothers. Keep the line moving. 1079 00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:45,870 Messrs Wade, Ceramics Limited. 1080 00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:50,751 Dear sirs, with reference to our meeting last January, 1081 00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:54,914 when you expressed an interest in taking over this business, 1082 00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:56,957 I must now advise you 1083 00:51:57,040 --> 00:52:01,114 that I am in a position to consider a favourable offer. 1084 00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:02,759 - In the mean... - No... 1085 00:52:02,840 --> 00:52:04,534 I beg your pardon, Miss Withering. 1086 00:52:04,535 --> 00:52:06,914 I'm sorry, Mr Boggs, but I can't let you give up. 1087 00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:10,038 I've no alternative. Two weeks of this strike has finished us. 1088 00:52:10,120 --> 00:52:13,716 What is to become of me? I've given my whole life to Boggs. 1089 00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:15,593 Oh, naturally, I shall arrange that 1090 00:52:15,594 --> 00:52:17,237 you be taken over with the firm. 1091 00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:19,277 But I don't want to be taken over. 1092 00:52:19,360 --> 00:52:21,352 I just want to carry on with you. 1093 00:52:21,440 --> 00:52:24,239 Of course, I do appreciate your loyalty, my dear. 1094 00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:28,200 No, you don't. That's the trouble. You never have appreciated me. 1095 00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:29,280 What? 1096 00:52:29,281 --> 00:52:30,715 I've worked for you for 30 years. 1097 00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:33,793 And in all that time, have you ever sat me on your knee, 1098 00:52:33,880 --> 00:52:36,475 or asked me to go away for a naughty weekend? No. 1099 00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:38,552 Really, Miss Withering. 1100 00:52:38,640 --> 00:52:40,620 You've never even pinched my bottom. 1101 00:52:40,621 --> 00:52:41,621 Ooh. 1102 00:52:41,622 --> 00:52:43,719 I am not in the habit of interfering with 1103 00:52:43,720 --> 00:52:45,798 other people's seating arrangements. 1104 00:52:45,880 --> 00:52:48,634 If you don't mind, we'll continue with the dictation. 1105 00:52:48,720 --> 00:52:50,338 Oh, damn the dictation. I don't 1106 00:52:50,339 --> 00:52:52,270 care what you think of me any more, 1107 00:52:52,360 --> 00:52:54,204 but I'm not going to stand by and watch 1108 00:52:54,205 --> 00:52:55,910 you throw everything away like this. 1109 00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:58,310 Miss Withering, you're pressing on my keys. 1110 00:52:58,400 --> 00:53:00,211 Then, William, fight back. I'll be 1111 00:53:00,212 --> 00:53:02,235 at your side. I'll work for nothing. 1112 00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:05,074 We can do it, William. I'm sure we can do it together. 1113 00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:06,958 I don't want us to do it together. 1114 00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:10,716 You've borne all this too long, William. You've lost confidence. 1115 00:53:10,800 --> 00:53:12,757 All you need is a good prod. 1116 00:53:12,840 --> 00:53:15,674 Oh. I assure you, that is the very last thing I need. 1117 00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:17,957 Lean on me, my dear. Take strength from 1118 00:53:17,958 --> 00:53:19,879 me. Together we'll see it through. 1119 00:53:19,960 --> 00:53:21,394 Ooh-ooh. 1120 00:53:21,480 --> 00:53:22,516 Ooh. 1121 00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:24,796 Blimey, talk about the power game. 1122 00:53:24,880 --> 00:53:26,633 Oh. 1123 00:53:28,160 --> 00:53:30,311 Dad, I'm sorry we barged in on you like that. 1124 00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:32,437 I had no idea you and Miss Withering were... 1125 00:53:32,520 --> 00:53:35,160 We weren't and, what's more, we never have. 1126 00:53:35,240 --> 00:53:38,119 It's just that she was upset, worried about her future. 1127 00:53:38,200 --> 00:53:40,271 After all, she's not getting any younger. 1128 00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:41,476 She's not getting any. 1129 00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:44,876 Yes. Well... Did you have any luck with the union? 1130 00:53:44,960 --> 00:53:47,192 None. The Industrial Relations Committee's 1131 00:53:47,193 --> 00:53:48,749 come back from Rio all right, 1132 00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:50,957 but the Action Committee's gone off to Russia. 1133 00:53:51,040 --> 00:53:52,520 Well, I suppose that's that. 1134 00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:55,069 Why are there no pickets on the gate? It's after nine. 1135 00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:56,958 They're probably on strike. 1136 00:53:57,040 --> 00:53:58,759 Dad, look. 1137 00:54:02,640 --> 00:54:04,597 I can't believe it. 1138 00:54:07,840 --> 00:54:08,914 They're coming back. 1139 00:54:08,915 --> 00:54:10,719 I had a feeling they would today. 1140 00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:13,110 - Why today? - It's the annual works outing. 1141 00:54:13,200 --> 00:54:14,793 Yeah... Oh. 1142 00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:20,600 Well, I suppose we'd better get ready, Mr Plummer. 1143 00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:23,195 - Ready? For what? - Dad, you're not going with them. 1144 00:54:23,280 --> 00:54:24,999 - Yes, I am, my boy. - But why? 1145 00:54:25,080 --> 00:54:28,232 Because I have suddenly decided, after all these years, 1146 00:54:28,320 --> 00:54:32,872 that what I've been missing is a right good booze-up. 1147 00:54:42,400 --> 00:54:44,119 No Fred, then? 1148 00:54:44,200 --> 00:54:46,157 No. He's off on another sales trip. 1149 00:54:46,240 --> 00:54:48,277 What a pity. Today of all days. 1150 00:54:48,360 --> 00:54:50,356 I know. I spent half the night trying 1151 00:54:50,357 --> 00:54:52,036 to talk him into having it off. 1152 00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:54,271 I wouldn't have needed any persuading. 1153 00:54:54,360 --> 00:54:56,079 I bet. 1154 00:54:56,160 --> 00:54:57,879 You've got nothing to worry about. 1155 00:54:57,960 --> 00:54:59,966 I shall be very happy to look after you today. 1156 00:54:59,967 --> 00:55:00,967 Oh, ta. 1157 00:55:01,680 --> 00:55:03,508 That'll be nice, won't it, Maud? Mr... 1158 00:55:03,509 --> 00:55:05,640 Plummer's offered to look after us today. 1159 00:55:05,720 --> 00:55:07,598 Oh, that'll be lovely, Mr Plummer. 1160 00:55:07,680 --> 00:55:09,239 Pleasure. 1161 00:55:09,320 --> 00:55:12,518 I was just saying to Chloe, it's not much fun without a man. 1162 00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:13,600 You should know. 1163 00:55:13,680 --> 00:55:15,558 Ooh. 1164 00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:20,799 You've never done it before? 1165 00:55:20,880 --> 00:55:22,837 No. Have you? 1166 00:55:22,920 --> 00:55:25,230 - Oh, loads of times. - What's it like? 1167 00:55:25,320 --> 00:55:27,630 Well, my mate Vic arranges it all. 1168 00:55:27,720 --> 00:55:29,871 See, we get to Brighton about 12 o'clock 1169 00:55:29,960 --> 00:55:33,032 and then we have this slap-up meal, serviettes an' all. 1170 00:55:33,120 --> 00:55:35,077 What do we do after? 1171 00:55:35,160 --> 00:55:37,436 Well, we can do anything once we're there. 1172 00:55:37,520 --> 00:55:40,056 We can go on the pier. Eat winkles. 1173 00:55:40,057 --> 00:55:41,958 Throw stones in the water. 1174 00:55:42,040 --> 00:55:45,158 To be frank, Mr Coote, I've never tried it. 1175 00:55:45,240 --> 00:55:48,916 Really, Miss Withering? Well, you've certainly missed something. 1176 00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:51,515 - I'm always ready to learn. - Oh. Well... 1177 00:55:51,600 --> 00:55:54,372 Er... it's a bit difficult to show you 1178 00:55:54,373 --> 00:55:57,358 here, but I can tell you how it's played. 1179 00:55:57,440 --> 00:56:01,354 First of all, you deal out five cards to each person, you see. 1180 00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:04,357 You know... 1181 00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:07,717 I can't think why I didn't notice you at the factory before. 1182 00:56:07,800 --> 00:56:10,110 The day I got taken on, they all went on strike. 1183 00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:13,034 You're lucky. I had to work three weeks before I got one. 1184 00:56:15,400 --> 00:56:17,357 I'm on my own today, you know. 1185 00:56:17,440 --> 00:56:19,159 So I gathered, yes. 1186 00:56:19,240 --> 00:56:21,358 It's the best way. Why lumber yourself 1187 00:56:21,359 --> 00:56:23,314 with a bird going down to Brighton? 1188 00:56:23,400 --> 00:56:25,851 It's like taking coals to Newcastle, innit? 1189 00:56:25,852 --> 00:56:26,852 If you say so. 1190 00:56:26,853 --> 00:56:28,972 Oh, yes. The place is full of spare. The 1191 00:56:28,973 --> 00:56:31,312 last time we went, we had to fight them off. 1192 00:56:31,400 --> 00:56:32,712 Like flies, they were. 1193 00:56:32,713 --> 00:56:35,280 Well, some people attract them, don't they? 1194 00:56:35,360 --> 00:56:37,317 Just like dustbins. 1195 00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:39,357 Er, yeah. Yeah. I suppose so. 1196 00:56:40,400 --> 00:56:42,703 Look, if you're going to be on your own as 1197 00:56:42,704 --> 00:56:44,952 well, I wouldn't mind showing you around. 1198 00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:47,828 Oh, thanks all the same, but I don't think you 1199 00:56:47,829 --> 00:56:50,320 ought to disappoint all those poor flies. 1200 00:57:19,840 --> 00:57:22,958 Of course, I'd love to spend the day with you, Vic. 1201 00:57:23,040 --> 00:57:24,759 - Would you? - Yeah. 1202 00:57:24,840 --> 00:57:27,275 Oh, well, that's all right, then, innit? 1203 00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:52,750 Come on, boys and girls. This is where 1204 00:57:52,751 --> 00:57:54,715 we're supposed to have lunch. Follow me. 1205 00:57:54,800 --> 00:57:56,757 Lunch time. 1206 00:58:11,560 --> 00:58:12,710 Good morning. 1207 00:58:12,800 --> 00:58:16,510 Ah, good morning, brother. We are the Boggs and Son's outing. 1208 00:58:16,600 --> 00:58:18,614 Oh, yes, and I'm sorry to tell you this, 1209 00:58:18,615 --> 00:58:20,480 but I'm afraid we can't do you lunch. 1210 00:58:20,560 --> 00:58:22,517 Oh, no. I'm starving. 1211 00:58:22,600 --> 00:58:25,160 What? But I booked it... six weeks ago. 1212 00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:27,660 Yes, I know and I'm sorry, but our entire 1213 00:58:27,661 --> 00:58:29,792 restaurant staff has gone on strike. 1214 00:58:29,880 --> 00:58:32,156 Gone on strike? Well, they can't do that. 1215 00:58:32,240 --> 00:58:33,356 Listen who's talking. 1216 00:58:33,440 --> 00:58:35,286 The bar's open and there are cold snacks, 1217 00:58:35,287 --> 00:58:36,956 but that's the best we can offer you. 1218 00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:40,397 Well, that just isn't good enough. Who do they think they are? 1219 00:58:40,480 --> 00:58:42,472 They're just a bunch of downtrodden workers, 1220 00:58:42,560 --> 00:58:44,756 being exploited by an unscrupulous management. 1221 00:58:44,840 --> 00:58:46,160 You should know that. 1222 00:58:46,240 --> 00:58:48,357 What does it matter? A drink will do me. 1223 00:58:48,440 --> 00:58:51,751 Hear hear. Cheer up, everybody. The drinks are on me. 1224 00:58:51,840 --> 00:58:53,160 This way, sir, please. 1225 00:58:53,240 --> 00:58:55,755 Don't you worry. I won't let them get away with this. 1226 00:58:55,840 --> 00:58:58,674 They are taking the bread out of the poor workers' mouths. 1227 00:58:58,760 --> 00:59:00,680 There's nothing we can do about it, Vic. 1228 00:59:00,681 --> 00:59:01,681 No. 1229 00:59:01,682 --> 00:59:03,320 Of course there is. I am not going to be 1230 00:59:03,321 --> 00:59:05,474 pushed around by a bunch of ruddy anarchists. 1231 00:59:05,560 --> 00:59:07,517 And I'm going to tell 'em. Come on. 1232 00:59:09,600 --> 00:59:11,557 Ah. Hey, you. 1233 00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:13,950 What's all this about you lot being on strike? 1234 00:59:14,040 --> 00:59:15,997 That's right, mate. We are. 1235 00:59:17,040 --> 00:59:18,997 What about it, then? 1236 00:59:20,040 --> 00:59:21,269 Tell him, Bernie. 1237 00:59:22,320 --> 00:59:25,518 You're taking the bread out of the poor workers' mouths. 1238 00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:26,600 You don't say. 1239 00:59:26,680 --> 00:59:29,240 You're just a bunch of ruddy anarchists, that's what you are. 1240 00:59:29,320 --> 00:59:31,391 Really? Who says so? 1241 00:59:31,480 --> 00:59:32,480 He does. 1242 00:59:36,560 --> 00:59:39,598 There you are, Mr Spanner. Just in time for your drink. 1243 00:59:39,680 --> 00:59:42,128 Same again all round, please, barman. 1244 00:59:42,129 --> 00:59:43,720 Ah, there you are, Vic. 1245 00:59:44,800 --> 00:59:47,679 Well, we certainly told him, didn't we? 1246 00:59:49,320 --> 00:59:53,394 ♪ She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes ♪ 1247 00:59:53,480 --> 00:59:57,554 ♪ She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes ♪ 1248 00:59:57,640 --> 00:59:59,916 ♪ She'll be coming round the mountain ♪ 1249 01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:01,087 Myrtle, listen to me. 1250 01:00:01,088 --> 01:00:03,118 Will you go away and stop bothering me? 1251 01:00:03,200 --> 01:00:05,510 - No, I damn well won't. - Now, then. Now, then. 1252 01:00:05,600 --> 01:00:07,353 You heard what Myrt said. So buzz off. 1253 01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:09,955 If you don't get out of the way, I'll knock your head off. 1254 01:00:10,040 --> 01:00:11,235 Yes? 1255 01:00:11,320 --> 01:00:12,320 Yes. 1256 01:00:12,360 --> 01:00:13,510 Bernie. 1257 01:00:13,600 --> 01:00:16,065 Now, now, Mr Lewis, we don't want no trouble. 1258 01:00:16,066 --> 01:00:17,913 No? Who's going to stop it, then? 1259 01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:19,070 Me, if I have to. 1260 01:00:19,160 --> 01:00:21,834 All right. Go on, then. Go on. Try it, then. Try it. 1261 01:00:21,920 --> 01:00:24,276 All right, but don't say I didn't warn you. 1262 01:00:28,560 --> 01:00:30,517 Now you've really done it. 1263 01:00:30,600 --> 01:00:32,193 Oh, for God's sake. 1264 01:00:33,240 --> 01:00:36,119 ♪ Singing aye aye yippee, yippee aye ♪ 1265 01:00:36,200 --> 01:00:38,351 Gosh, I am sorry, Vic. Are you all right? 1266 01:00:38,440 --> 01:00:42,673 ♪ Singing aye aye yippee, aye aye yippee ♪ 1267 01:00:42,760 --> 01:00:47,789 ♪ Aye aye yippee, yippee aye ♪ 1268 01:00:47,880 --> 01:00:50,759 Oh, splendid. Splendid. Let's have more drinks. 1269 01:00:50,840 --> 01:00:52,797 Oh, no. Come on. Let's go for a walk. 1270 01:00:52,880 --> 01:00:54,837 There's a smashing front here. 1271 01:00:54,920 --> 01:00:57,165 There's a smashing one there an' all. 1272 01:00:57,166 --> 01:00:58,166 Saucy. 1273 01:00:58,167 --> 01:01:01,072 I know. I know. Let's all go on the pier and have a winkle. 1274 01:01:01,160 --> 01:01:03,629 You can have one here, just through that door. 1275 01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:05,677 Oh. Ha-ha. No, let's go on the pier. 1276 01:01:20,040 --> 01:01:21,997 Come on, man. Come on. 1277 01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:24,037 Look. The hall of mirrors. 1278 01:01:24,120 --> 01:01:26,191 We have a lot of conferences down here. 1279 01:01:39,640 --> 01:01:41,677 There's nothing to it. I'll show you. 1280 01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:54,991 It looks quite easy. Let's all have a go. 1281 01:02:00,880 --> 01:02:02,473 Hey. Hey. Watch it. 1282 01:02:05,840 --> 01:02:07,069 One in my pipe. 1283 01:02:18,680 --> 01:02:20,637 Come on, then. 1284 01:02:24,440 --> 01:02:25,715 Skinheads. 1285 01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:27,757 Ha-ha-ha. That showed him. 1286 01:02:29,920 --> 01:02:30,920 Ah. 1287 01:02:30,960 --> 01:02:33,578 There's something I want to have a go at. 1288 01:02:33,579 --> 01:02:34,590 Come on, then. 1289 01:02:41,840 --> 01:02:44,514 Hold it. Hold it. Perfectly still. I'm going to take it... 1290 01:02:44,600 --> 01:02:45,636 now. 1291 01:02:48,720 --> 01:02:49,915 How was that? 1292 01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:51,798 Beautiful. Bern. Beautiful. 1293 01:02:53,080 --> 01:02:55,390 Come on, Vic. Let's have a go on the mat. 1294 01:02:55,480 --> 01:02:57,551 What? In front of everybody? 1295 01:02:57,640 --> 01:02:59,597 Oh, you mean the helter-skelter. 1296 01:02:59,680 --> 01:03:00,796 Yeah. Come on. 1297 01:03:00,880 --> 01:03:03,270 Hey, Bernie. We're going on the helter-skelter. 1298 01:03:03,360 --> 01:03:05,111 Come along, now. You've had enough. 1299 01:03:05,112 --> 01:03:06,910 You've got to have something to eat. 1300 01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:08,150 Now, one moment. 1301 01:03:08,240 --> 01:03:10,243 There was a young fellow called Reg, 1302 01:03:10,244 --> 01:03:12,029 who went with a girl in a hedge. 1303 01:03:12,120 --> 01:03:15,033 When along came his wife, with a big carving knife, 1304 01:03:15,120 --> 01:03:17,157 and cut off his meat and two veg. 1305 01:03:23,440 --> 01:03:25,397 Yahoo. 1306 01:03:25,480 --> 01:03:27,437 Whoo. 1307 01:03:28,560 --> 01:03:29,596 Yahoo. 1308 01:03:29,680 --> 01:03:31,797 Whoo. 1309 01:03:34,400 --> 01:03:36,357 Oh, Vic, darling, 1310 01:03:36,440 --> 01:03:38,750 I've not had so much fun in all my life. 1311 01:03:38,840 --> 01:03:40,797 Thanks. 1312 01:03:43,200 --> 01:03:45,157 Ah. Whoo. 1313 01:03:45,240 --> 01:03:47,197 We are the champions. 1314 01:03:48,760 --> 01:03:50,717 Oh, what was that digging in me? 1315 01:03:50,800 --> 01:03:52,359 It was only my camera. 1316 01:03:55,440 --> 01:03:58,558 Mr Boggs, I've found a fortune-teller. Shall we try it? 1317 01:03:58,640 --> 01:04:00,751 Fortune-teller, certainly not. Waste 1318 01:04:00,752 --> 01:04:02,919 of money. Fakes, that's all they are. 1319 01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:05,783 Sitting, looking at their crystal... whatsitsname? 1320 01:04:05,784 --> 01:04:06,784 Balls. 1321 01:04:06,800 --> 01:04:09,759 I quite agree. Absolutely ridiculous. 1322 01:04:09,840 --> 01:04:11,797 I don't mind having a go. I love them. 1323 01:04:11,880 --> 01:04:14,270 You do? Come on, then. Let's have a bash. 1324 01:04:16,160 --> 01:04:19,790 Never mind, Miss Withering. Have a cockle. Much better for you. 1325 01:04:19,880 --> 01:04:21,837 Oh, do you think I ought to? 1326 01:04:21,920 --> 01:04:24,560 I mean, I've heard that shellfish do very 1327 01:04:24,561 --> 01:04:27,075 strange things... in a sex way, I mean. 1328 01:04:27,160 --> 01:04:30,756 Really? Ooh, let's watch 'em for a bit, then. 1329 01:04:35,200 --> 01:04:36,759 Anybody home? 1330 01:04:36,840 --> 01:04:39,275 Look. Gone to lunch, back in the near future. 1331 01:04:39,360 --> 01:04:41,511 The foreseeable future, I hope. Ha-ha. 1332 01:04:41,600 --> 01:04:43,831 - We'll come back later. - Wait a minute. 1333 01:04:47,000 --> 01:04:49,310 I've got an idea. Hang on. 1334 01:04:59,000 --> 01:05:00,905 But I don't want my fortune told. I 1335 01:05:00,906 --> 01:05:03,074 already told you. I don't believe in it. 1336 01:05:03,160 --> 01:05:05,067 You will, this one, Mr Boggs. She's 1337 01:05:05,068 --> 01:05:06,710 marvellous. Go on. Be a sport. 1338 01:05:06,800 --> 01:05:08,917 - Oh, all right, then. - Go on, then. In you go. 1339 01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:10,195 Oh. 1340 01:05:10,280 --> 01:05:13,159 Excuse me, dear. Customers. 1341 01:05:13,240 --> 01:05:16,119 - I know. I saw you coming. - I beg your pardon? 1342 01:05:16,200 --> 01:05:18,481 In the ball. Ah, yes. You are indeed 1343 01:05:18,482 --> 01:05:20,638 in need of help. Please be seated. 1344 01:05:20,720 --> 01:05:22,677 Oh, thank you. Come along, dear. 1345 01:05:23,720 --> 01:05:26,076 Now, then, do you wish me to prognosticate? 1346 01:05:26,160 --> 01:05:29,198 Oh, please do. We'll wait. Ha-ha-ha. 1347 01:05:30,840 --> 01:05:34,629 Please, I must have absolute silence to establish contact. 1348 01:05:39,240 --> 01:05:42,199 Ah. The mists are clearing. 1349 01:05:42,280 --> 01:05:44,590 I see a picture forming. 1350 01:05:44,680 --> 01:05:47,798 All around you are strange-looking objects. 1351 01:05:47,880 --> 01:05:49,837 White and shining. 1352 01:05:49,920 --> 01:05:53,470 Tell me, do lavatories play a big part in your life? 1353 01:05:53,560 --> 01:05:55,517 What? Why... yes. 1354 01:05:55,600 --> 01:05:57,398 They do, as a matter of fact. 1355 01:05:57,480 --> 01:06:00,678 I thought so. You are a cloakroom attendant. 1356 01:06:00,760 --> 01:06:03,559 Certainly not. I manufacture them. 1357 01:06:03,640 --> 01:06:04,869 I have a factory. 1358 01:06:04,960 --> 01:06:06,917 I see a picture appearing. 1359 01:06:07,960 --> 01:06:11,078 The factory is about to stop and fall into ruin. 1360 01:06:11,160 --> 01:06:12,560 - Oh, no. - Unless... 1361 01:06:12,640 --> 01:06:13,640 Unless what? 1362 01:06:13,680 --> 01:06:15,717 There is a woman who loves you. 1363 01:06:15,800 --> 01:06:17,757 Her name begins with... 1364 01:06:18,800 --> 01:06:19,995 W. 1365 01:06:20,080 --> 01:06:21,719 Is it Widdling? 1366 01:06:21,800 --> 01:06:24,634 Withering. Miss Withering. 1367 01:06:24,720 --> 01:06:26,677 Withering. That's it. 1368 01:06:26,760 --> 01:06:29,832 Your affinities will be closely entwined. 1369 01:06:29,920 --> 01:06:31,718 Don't be disgusting. 1370 01:06:33,000 --> 01:06:34,719 I see... 1371 01:06:34,800 --> 01:06:36,519 a marriage. 1372 01:06:36,600 --> 01:06:39,991 And one, two, three... 14 children. 1373 01:06:40,080 --> 01:06:41,196 Oh, no. 1374 01:06:41,280 --> 01:06:42,280 Oh, no. 1375 01:06:42,360 --> 01:06:45,478 - No. - William. Come back. 1376 01:06:45,560 --> 01:06:46,789 William. 1377 01:06:49,200 --> 01:06:50,919 Not bad. 1378 01:06:51,000 --> 01:06:52,381 Do you want to do me now? 1379 01:06:52,382 --> 01:06:54,835 Not half. Let me get these things off first. 1380 01:06:59,600 --> 01:07:01,557 Ooh. 1381 01:07:03,600 --> 01:07:05,557 William. 1382 01:07:05,640 --> 01:07:07,597 William, come back. 1383 01:07:07,680 --> 01:07:09,637 William. 1384 01:07:34,920 --> 01:07:36,877 Excuse me. 1385 01:07:51,760 --> 01:07:55,913 Hey. Switch it off. Switch it off. My girl's in there. 1386 01:07:57,000 --> 01:07:58,957 Let me go. 1387 01:07:59,040 --> 01:08:00,394 Let me go. 1388 01:08:00,480 --> 01:08:03,040 No. Not until you listen to what I've got to say. 1389 01:08:03,120 --> 01:08:04,395 Oh. 1390 01:08:04,480 --> 01:08:06,437 - Now, do you see this? - No, I don't. 1391 01:08:06,520 --> 01:08:08,477 What is it, anyway? 1392 01:08:08,560 --> 01:08:10,517 It's a special marriage licence. 1393 01:08:11,600 --> 01:08:13,319 What? 1394 01:08:13,400 --> 01:08:15,631 A special marriage licence, my darling. 1395 01:08:15,720 --> 01:08:17,871 Now, do we use it or do I tear it up? 1396 01:08:18,920 --> 01:08:20,639 Oh. 1397 01:08:20,720 --> 01:08:22,439 Lewis. 1398 01:08:22,520 --> 01:08:23,840 Darling. 1399 01:08:29,400 --> 01:08:31,392 Here. You leave her alone. 1400 01:08:31,480 --> 01:08:32,630 Do you hear? 1401 01:08:32,720 --> 01:08:34,040 Put her down. 1402 01:08:34,120 --> 01:08:36,191 Oh, no. Excuse me a minute, darling. 1403 01:08:37,240 --> 01:08:42,360 Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. 1404 01:09:12,680 --> 01:09:14,688 Blimey, they're supposed to be here at 1405 01:09:14,689 --> 01:09:16,799 6:30. Where do you think they've got to? 1406 01:09:16,880 --> 01:09:19,600 Search me. What do you suppose happened to old Myrtle? 1407 01:09:19,680 --> 01:09:21,751 I don't know and what's more, I don't care. 1408 01:09:21,840 --> 01:09:23,274 Ooh. What's this coming, then? 1409 01:09:34,920 --> 01:09:35,920 Oh, naughty. 1410 01:09:35,921 --> 01:09:38,231 Come on, then, ladies. Off you come. 1411 01:09:39,840 --> 01:09:41,593 Come on. 1412 01:12:12,920 --> 01:12:15,230 Looks like Fred's not home yet. No car. 1413 01:12:15,320 --> 01:12:18,438 No, he said he probably wouldn't be home till tomorrow night. 1414 01:12:18,520 --> 01:12:20,477 Oh. It's a shame, innit? 1415 01:12:20,560 --> 01:12:22,517 Looks like Beattie's asleep. 1416 01:12:22,600 --> 01:12:24,319 Good. 1417 01:12:24,400 --> 01:12:26,357 I mean, erm... good for her. 1418 01:12:27,440 --> 01:12:30,558 Chloe. Oh, blimey, Chloe. 1419 01:12:30,640 --> 01:12:32,040 Yes, Sid? 1420 01:12:32,120 --> 01:12:33,679 Nothing. 1421 01:12:33,760 --> 01:12:36,195 I think we ought to go to bed. Our beds, I mean. 1422 01:12:36,280 --> 01:12:37,839 Yeah, I suppose so. 1423 01:12:38,880 --> 01:12:41,190 I would have liked to ask you in for a cup of tea. 1424 01:12:41,280 --> 01:12:42,280 You would? 1425 01:12:42,281 --> 01:12:43,795 But you know how the neighbours talk. 1426 01:12:43,880 --> 01:12:45,155 Yes, that's true. 1427 01:12:45,240 --> 01:12:47,103 And I suppose you couldn't come in with me 1428 01:12:47,104 --> 01:12:48,836 at this time without someone seeing us. 1429 01:12:48,920 --> 01:12:50,149 I suppose not. 1430 01:12:50,240 --> 01:12:53,677 Not that we'd be... doing what they might think we'd be doing. 1431 01:12:53,760 --> 01:12:55,717 Oh, no. No. Of course not. 1432 01:12:55,800 --> 01:12:58,713 But, of course, if Fred did get to hear about it... 1433 01:12:58,800 --> 01:13:00,757 Yes, that's quite right. 1434 01:13:00,840 --> 01:13:04,675 Not worth it, really. Not just for a cup of tea. 1435 01:13:04,760 --> 01:13:06,319 Oh, well. 1436 01:13:16,800 --> 01:13:18,359 Good night, Sid. 1437 01:13:18,440 --> 01:13:20,397 Night. Sleep tight. 1438 01:13:20,480 --> 01:13:22,437 Tight is the word. 1439 01:13:24,200 --> 01:13:26,157 Bloody neighbours. 1440 01:13:54,960 --> 01:13:57,520 Mr Boggs. Tea. 1441 01:13:59,960 --> 01:14:02,475 WC. Tea. 1442 01:14:03,560 --> 01:14:05,517 Thank you. 1443 01:14:05,600 --> 01:14:07,557 Very nice... 1444 01:14:07,640 --> 01:14:10,155 Miss Withering. What are you doing here? 1445 01:14:10,240 --> 01:14:12,550 This is my room, Mr Boggs. 1446 01:14:12,640 --> 01:14:14,597 Oh, I see. 1447 01:14:14,680 --> 01:14:15,955 What? 1448 01:14:16,040 --> 01:14:17,554 Then what am I doing here? 1449 01:14:17,640 --> 01:14:20,951 Well, I'm afraid you were in no fit state to look after yourself, 1450 01:14:21,040 --> 01:14:24,607 so I had two of the men bring you up here. 1451 01:14:24,608 --> 01:14:25,796 Oh, well. 1452 01:14:25,880 --> 01:14:29,669 That was very thoughtful... Oh. I beg your pardon. 1453 01:14:29,760 --> 01:14:32,229 I didn't realise they'd undressed me as well. 1454 01:14:32,320 --> 01:14:34,152 They didn't. 1455 01:14:35,200 --> 01:14:36,919 You mean you... 1456 01:14:37,000 --> 01:14:41,199 Don't worry. I know what a man looks like, you know. 1457 01:14:41,280 --> 01:14:43,431 And you're not all that much different. 1458 01:14:44,800 --> 01:14:46,757 Miss Withering, erm... 1459 01:14:46,840 --> 01:14:48,069 Yes? 1460 01:14:48,160 --> 01:14:52,040 Did we get off... Did I get off? Straight to sleep, I mean. 1461 01:14:52,120 --> 01:14:53,873 Don't you remember, William? 1462 01:14:53,960 --> 01:14:55,838 No, I don't. 1463 01:14:55,920 --> 01:14:59,994 Then that is something we shall always be wondering about. 1464 01:15:00,080 --> 01:15:01,309 Isn't it? 1465 01:15:16,160 --> 01:15:18,117 Charles. 1466 01:15:18,200 --> 01:15:19,554 Charles. 1467 01:15:19,640 --> 01:15:20,960 Oh, hello. 1468 01:15:21,040 --> 01:15:22,599 Get up and come inside at once. 1469 01:15:32,200 --> 01:15:33,919 You've been drinking, haven't you? 1470 01:15:34,000 --> 01:15:36,310 Well, you see, Agatha, I had some rather bad news. 1471 01:15:36,400 --> 01:15:39,279 I don't give a damn, and I may as well tell you, Charles Coote, 1472 01:15:39,360 --> 01:15:40,873 that I married one drunk and I'm 1473 01:15:40,874 --> 01:15:42,717 damned if I'm going to marry another. 1474 01:15:42,800 --> 01:15:44,154 That was the bad news, Agatha. 1475 01:15:44,240 --> 01:15:47,597 You see, I'm afraid we won't be able to get married now. 1476 01:15:47,680 --> 01:15:49,831 What do you mean? What are you talking about? 1477 01:15:49,920 --> 01:15:52,012 Because Mr Boggs is going to close down the 1478 01:15:52,013 --> 01:15:54,199 works and that means I shall be out of a job. 1479 01:15:54,280 --> 01:15:56,237 Close down the works, why? 1480 01:15:56,320 --> 01:15:57,515 Because of the strike. 1481 01:15:57,600 --> 01:15:59,319 I knew it. 1482 01:15:59,400 --> 01:16:01,232 It's that little sod Victor's fault. 1483 01:16:01,320 --> 01:16:04,154 He's at the back of all this. But I'll tell you something. 1484 01:16:04,240 --> 01:16:07,199 I'm not going to let that little swine mess up my bloody life. 1485 01:16:07,640 --> 01:16:11,156 All right, brothers, we have got to keep a full picket line today. 1486 01:16:11,240 --> 01:16:14,517 Cos I have heard that some of the men want to come back to work. 1487 01:16:14,600 --> 01:16:15,600 Oh, do they? 1488 01:16:15,601 --> 01:16:18,514 If they want to, how are we going to stop 'em? 1489 01:16:18,600 --> 01:16:20,557 Force. 1490 01:16:20,640 --> 01:16:23,394 Whatever happens, we have got to stand firm. 1491 01:16:32,680 --> 01:16:35,912 Can I have the cricket bat? I don't know how to play tennis. 1492 01:16:44,920 --> 01:16:47,230 All right, William, I'll take it. 1493 01:16:47,320 --> 01:16:48,879 Thank you, Miss Withering. 1494 01:16:48,960 --> 01:16:52,715 - Now, William. - Oh, I beg your pardon. Hortense. 1495 01:16:52,800 --> 01:16:54,359 That's better. 1496 01:16:54,440 --> 01:16:56,159 Boggs and Son. 1497 01:16:56,240 --> 01:16:59,358 Mr Boggs' personal secretary speaking. 1498 01:16:59,440 --> 01:17:02,558 Oh, it's you, Mr Lewis. Yes, he's here. 1499 01:17:03,600 --> 01:17:07,230 Hello, Lewis, my boy. I apologise for not getting home last night. 1500 01:17:07,320 --> 01:17:09,755 Yes, I got laid up... erm held up. 1501 01:17:09,840 --> 01:17:12,400 That's funny. I was going to say the same to you. 1502 01:17:13,440 --> 01:17:16,319 No, no. There's nothing wrong. Far from it. 1503 01:17:17,360 --> 01:17:19,113 The fact is, I got married. 1504 01:17:20,160 --> 01:17:21,389 Married? 1505 01:17:21,480 --> 01:17:24,234 Yes, that's right. To Myrtle. Myrtle Plummer. 1506 01:17:24,320 --> 01:17:26,915 Does her father know? That'll be a surprise. 1507 01:17:27,000 --> 01:17:29,356 I know it's a surprise, but I had to marry her. 1508 01:17:30,440 --> 01:17:32,591 No, no, no. I mean it was the only way. 1509 01:17:35,240 --> 01:17:37,675 No, we booked into a hotel. We've been driving 1510 01:17:37,676 --> 01:17:40,110 all night, you see, and we want to get to bed. 1511 01:17:40,200 --> 01:17:42,635 At long last he said, under his breath. 1512 01:17:42,720 --> 01:17:44,996 You can say that again. 1513 01:17:45,080 --> 01:17:47,390 No. Not you. Dad. I was speaking to Myrtle. 1514 01:17:47,480 --> 01:17:49,870 Do you mind if I don't come back to work for a few days? 1515 01:17:49,960 --> 01:17:52,395 Not at all, my boy. Take all the time you want. 1516 01:17:52,480 --> 01:17:56,315 I've decided to take up Moore's offer for the firm, anyway. 1517 01:17:56,400 --> 01:17:58,119 Thanks, Dad. I knew you'd... 1518 01:17:58,200 --> 01:17:59,919 You've what? 1519 01:18:00,000 --> 01:18:01,957 You can't do that, Dad. 1520 01:18:04,080 --> 01:18:06,037 Oh, no. No. 1521 01:18:06,120 --> 01:18:08,077 I've got to stop him. 1522 01:18:12,080 --> 01:18:15,960 Well, here I am at long last, darling. 1523 01:18:19,640 --> 01:18:21,597 Get dressed as quickly as you can. 1524 01:18:21,680 --> 01:18:22,680 What? 1525 01:18:22,681 --> 01:18:24,434 We've got to get back. I'll explain later. 1526 01:18:24,520 --> 01:18:28,070 - Something important's come up. - But won't it keep? 1527 01:18:28,160 --> 01:18:30,117 Oh, I do hope it will. 1528 01:18:34,360 --> 01:18:37,398 Excuse me, WC. Have you seen my daughter this morning? 1529 01:18:37,480 --> 01:18:39,039 Your daughter, Mr Plummer, no. 1530 01:18:39,120 --> 01:18:41,035 She left Brighton with your blooming son 1531 01:18:41,036 --> 01:18:42,716 and she hasn't been home all night. 1532 01:18:42,800 --> 01:18:44,951 I wouldn't worry about that, Mr Plummer. 1533 01:18:45,040 --> 01:18:46,680 Your daughter Myrtle has always 1534 01:18:46,681 --> 01:18:48,795 commanded great admiration and respect 1535 01:18:48,880 --> 01:18:51,031 and I'm sure Lewis will see that she gets it. 1536 01:18:51,120 --> 01:18:53,271 That's what I'm afraid of. Listen to me, WC. 1537 01:18:53,360 --> 01:18:55,079 What's that? 1538 01:18:55,160 --> 01:18:56,879 Let's go and see. 1539 01:18:59,800 --> 01:19:00,800 Hello. 1540 01:19:00,840 --> 01:19:02,069 Looks like a showdown. 1541 01:19:02,160 --> 01:19:04,117 Now, listen. 1542 01:19:04,200 --> 01:19:07,272 We are on official strike, pending confirmation. 1543 01:19:07,360 --> 01:19:11,036 So, until then, there will be no return to work. 1544 01:19:11,120 --> 01:19:13,093 What's the point in our going on with the 1545 01:19:13,094 --> 01:19:15,160 strike if it means Boggs has to close down? 1546 01:19:15,240 --> 01:19:17,471 That is neither here nor there, brother. 1547 01:19:17,560 --> 01:19:21,236 So why don't you... go home and stop making trouble. 1548 01:19:21,320 --> 01:19:23,232 Us making trouble? 1549 01:19:23,320 --> 01:19:25,391 All we want to do is an honest day's work. 1550 01:19:25,480 --> 01:19:27,199 All we want to do is... All we want... 1551 01:19:27,280 --> 01:19:29,396 Listen, brother, bolshie talk like that got 1552 01:19:29,397 --> 01:19:31,320 this country in the mess it's in today. 1553 01:19:31,400 --> 01:19:33,579 Now, listen, fellas, the last thing 1554 01:19:33,580 --> 01:19:35,394 that we want is any violence. 1555 01:19:35,480 --> 01:19:39,235 So at the first sign of anything, don't argue. 1556 01:19:39,320 --> 01:19:40,879 Don't get involved. 1557 01:19:40,960 --> 01:19:42,189 Bash 'em. 1558 01:19:42,280 --> 01:19:45,318 Oh, well, we might as well go home again. 1559 01:19:45,400 --> 01:19:48,950 That's it, then. I don't reckon we'll have any more trouble now. 1560 01:19:50,000 --> 01:19:52,390 I don't know about that. Just look at this lot. 1561 01:19:55,800 --> 01:19:57,757 Blimey. My old woman's there. 1562 01:19:57,840 --> 01:19:59,797 And mine. 1563 01:20:04,840 --> 01:20:07,594 - Stop. - Mum? What are you doing here? 1564 01:20:07,680 --> 01:20:09,495 I've come to knock some common sense 1565 01:20:09,496 --> 01:20:11,310 into that moth-eaten brain of yours. 1566 01:20:11,400 --> 01:20:13,278 Please, Mum, not in front of everyone. 1567 01:20:13,360 --> 01:20:15,670 Ah, now you're ashamed. And so you should be. 1568 01:20:15,760 --> 01:20:17,972 Now, then. Shift your arse out of the way and 1569 01:20:17,973 --> 01:20:20,039 let these good people in to do their work. 1570 01:20:20,120 --> 01:20:23,557 I must warn you ladies that this strike is quite legitimate. 1571 01:20:23,640 --> 01:20:25,597 That's more than they say about you. 1572 01:20:28,240 --> 01:20:30,994 I must ask you all to disperse peacefully. 1573 01:20:31,120 --> 01:20:33,180 Disperse, crap. Now, are you going to get 1574 01:20:33,181 --> 01:20:35,239 out of the way, or do I have to make you? 1575 01:20:35,320 --> 01:20:37,039 We must stand firm on our principles. 1576 01:20:37,120 --> 01:20:38,395 Oh, yeah? 1577 01:20:38,480 --> 01:20:40,257 It is the democratic right of every 1578 01:20:40,258 --> 01:20:41,837 worker to do whatever he likes. 1579 01:20:41,920 --> 01:20:43,639 - We must stand firm... - Ah, shut up. 1580 01:20:43,720 --> 01:20:44,775 It is a democratic... 1581 01:20:44,776 --> 01:20:46,838 Shut up. Give me that, you little squirt. 1582 01:20:46,920 --> 01:20:49,276 - Mum, please. - Go on. Come here. 1583 01:20:50,480 --> 01:20:53,712 Now, then. This is what I should have done years ago. 1584 01:20:53,800 --> 01:20:55,632 Mum. Ow. Ow. 1585 01:20:57,160 --> 01:20:59,117 Ow. Mum. 1586 01:20:59,200 --> 01:21:00,759 Oh, Mum. Ow. 1587 01:21:01,800 --> 01:21:03,951 Will somebody open those damned gates? 1588 01:21:17,600 --> 01:21:19,159 Thank you, ladies. 1589 01:21:19,240 --> 01:21:21,038 Sorry about that row, Mr Boggs, but we 1590 01:21:21,039 --> 01:21:22,790 thought you might need a little help. 1591 01:21:22,880 --> 01:21:25,076 We'd like to come back to work, if that's all right. 1592 01:21:25,160 --> 01:21:29,234 I can't tell you how much I appreciate this moving gesture. 1593 01:21:29,320 --> 01:21:31,630 Such a wonderful display of loyalty. 1594 01:21:31,720 --> 01:21:33,757 Cut the cackle and let's get on with the work. 1595 01:21:37,800 --> 01:21:40,360 Well done, Beattie. All right, you can go home now. 1596 01:21:40,440 --> 01:21:43,558 But I thought I'd stay on for a bit, Sidney. Make a change for me. 1597 01:21:43,640 --> 01:21:45,040 - Stay on? - Yeah. 1598 01:21:45,120 --> 01:21:47,077 Oh, all right, then. Come on. 1599 01:21:49,480 --> 01:21:51,437 Come on. 1600 01:21:51,520 --> 01:21:54,061 Oh, brothers. Brothers, you're not going to let 1601 01:21:54,062 --> 01:21:56,549 a bunch of women tell you what to do, are you? 1602 01:21:56,640 --> 01:21:58,597 Don't they always? 1603 01:21:58,680 --> 01:22:01,320 Oh, no. Don't let's give in like this, brothers. 1604 01:22:01,400 --> 01:22:04,632 Be firm. Be firm. Make a stand. Has it all been for nothing? 1605 01:22:04,720 --> 01:22:06,313 There are alternatives, you know. 1606 01:22:06,400 --> 01:22:09,518 Bernie, don't just stand there. Do something. 1607 01:22:09,640 --> 01:22:11,797 Well, I don't know about you blokes, but I'm 1608 01:22:11,798 --> 01:22:13,714 not going to let any woman take my job. 1609 01:22:13,800 --> 01:22:16,076 Now, then, come on. Let's get back to work. 1610 01:22:17,640 --> 01:22:20,758 All right, then. All right, then. Go back to work. See if I care. 1611 01:22:20,840 --> 01:22:22,580 Don't expect me to join you. Nothing on 1612 01:22:22,581 --> 01:22:24,277 earth would get me back in that place. 1613 01:22:24,360 --> 01:22:26,317 Nothing on earth, I tell you. 1614 01:22:40,200 --> 01:22:42,715 Excuse me, but they sent me from the exchange. 1615 01:22:42,800 --> 01:22:45,599 I'm the new canteen girl. Can you tell me where I go? 1616 01:22:45,680 --> 01:22:48,798 Oh, yes. I was just going in myself. I'll show you where it is. 1617 01:22:48,880 --> 01:22:51,349 Yes, we've got a lovely pair of canteens here. 1618 01:22:51,440 --> 01:22:54,194 And a nice lot of people. You'll like them. They're very nice. 1619 01:23:09,080 --> 01:23:10,639 What's going on? 1620 01:23:16,280 --> 01:23:18,237 Ooh. 1621 01:23:18,320 --> 01:23:20,192 Chloe, about last night, you know, 1622 01:23:20,193 --> 01:23:22,394 when you asked me in for a cup of tea. 1623 01:23:22,480 --> 01:23:24,199 What about it, Sid? 1624 01:23:24,280 --> 01:23:26,556 I'd like you to know that I wanted it badly. 1625 01:23:26,640 --> 01:23:28,199 The tea, I mean. 1626 01:23:28,280 --> 01:23:30,317 It's a bit late for that now, isn't it? 1627 01:23:30,400 --> 01:23:32,710 No, no. There must be another chance, surely? 1628 01:23:32,800 --> 01:23:34,075 Next year maybe? 1629 01:23:34,160 --> 01:23:36,231 Even sooner perhaps. 1630 01:23:37,280 --> 01:23:38,634 Hello, Beattie. 1631 01:23:39,800 --> 01:23:42,110 - Getting on all right, then? - Oh, yes. Lovely. 1632 01:23:42,200 --> 01:23:44,874 I've been thinking, I think I'll take a permanent job here. 1633 01:23:44,960 --> 01:23:46,155 You'll what? 1634 01:23:46,240 --> 01:23:48,525 Well, it seems much more sensible than sitting 1635 01:23:48,526 --> 01:23:50,519 at home talking to a silly bird all day. 1636 01:23:50,600 --> 01:23:53,798 Well, I don't know. There's no harm in talking to a bird, really. 1637 01:23:53,880 --> 01:23:55,473 Oh, well, you should know. 1638 01:23:55,560 --> 01:23:57,392 Here you are, dear. 1639 01:23:57,480 --> 01:24:01,599 And anyway, I could come on the outings with you, couldn't I? 1640 01:24:01,680 --> 01:24:03,831 Yes. That's right. 1641 01:24:12,000 --> 01:24:13,719 What do you want? 1642 01:24:13,800 --> 01:24:15,811 Well, I'm still employed here, aren't 1643 01:24:15,812 --> 01:24:17,874 I? That is unless you want to fire me. 1644 01:24:17,960 --> 01:24:20,714 - Supposing I did? - That would be victimisation. 1645 01:24:20,800 --> 01:24:22,533 Oh, no, you don't. Go on. Get working. 1646 01:24:22,534 --> 01:24:23,534 Right. 1647 01:24:23,535 --> 01:24:26,876 But I want it clearly understood, I'm only doing so under protest. 1648 01:24:26,960 --> 01:24:28,917 Knickers. 1649 01:24:32,760 --> 01:24:34,717 - Better now, Maudie? - Oh. 1650 01:24:34,800 --> 01:24:37,110 Oh, Mr Plummer. Oh. Ha-ha-ha. 1651 01:24:38,800 --> 01:24:40,837 Myrtle, where the hell have you been? 1652 01:24:40,920 --> 01:24:43,799 Now, now, Dad. Before you sound off, it's all right. 1653 01:24:43,880 --> 01:24:45,997 - We're married. - Married? 1654 01:24:46,080 --> 01:24:48,914 That's right. Mr Plummer. I hope you don't object, Dad. 1655 01:24:49,000 --> 01:24:51,164 Dad. Don't object? My daughter marries 1656 01:24:51,165 --> 01:24:53,438 into management, you ask me if I object? 1657 01:24:53,520 --> 01:24:54,749 Of course I object. 1658 01:24:54,840 --> 01:24:57,150 But that's absurd. You're management yourself. 1659 01:24:57,240 --> 01:24:59,290 How dare you insult me like that. I'm 1660 01:24:59,291 --> 01:25:01,393 works foreman and don't you forget it. 1661 01:25:01,480 --> 01:25:03,711 - Didn't my dad tell you, then? - Tell me what? 1662 01:25:03,800 --> 01:25:05,866 In return for all the financial help you 1663 01:25:05,867 --> 01:25:08,033 gave him, he's having you made a director. 1664 01:25:08,120 --> 01:25:10,077 - Director? - Yes. 1665 01:25:10,160 --> 01:25:12,117 Oh, no. No. I'm a worker. 1666 01:25:12,200 --> 01:25:14,112 I don't want to sit on my big fat... 1667 01:25:14,200 --> 01:25:16,317 Come on, Lewis. I think we'd better go. 1668 01:25:18,040 --> 01:25:19,918 I'll kill that bloody budgie. 1669 01:25:21,600 --> 01:25:23,751 Here, Vic. There's no paper in that loo. 1670 01:25:24,800 --> 01:25:26,234 What was that, Bern? 1671 01:25:27,800 --> 01:25:30,315 I just said there's no paper in that toilet again. 1672 01:25:30,400 --> 01:25:32,357 Well, well, well. There's a situation. 1673 01:25:33,480 --> 01:25:35,039 - Bernie. - Yeah? 1674 01:25:35,120 --> 01:25:37,271 - Don't just stand there. - Right, I know. 1675 01:25:37,360 --> 01:25:39,079 Nip out and buy a couple of rolls. 1676 01:25:40,120 --> 01:25:42,077 Hey, hey. Good lad. 1677 01:25:44,360 --> 01:25:46,317 Come on, you lot. Don't hang about. 1678 01:25:47,280 --> 01:25:48,634 Carry on working.